MESSAGE #1314 HERE’S TO YOU, BOB RYLAND
Speaking with Bob Ryland at Arthur Ashe Youth Tennis and Education in Philadelphia
If you’ve been following this blog, you know that Bob was Arthur Ashe’s hero. In fact, when Arthur Ashe was 14, he said, “I only want to be good enough to be able to beat Bob Ryland.”
Bob has taught tennis to the Williams sisters, Barbra Streisand, Bill Cosby and many others in his career. I recently had lunch in New York City with the living legend and every time is like the first time. What impresses me about Ryland is that even though he lived through segregation, he stays one of the most optimistic people I know.
You think it’s hard to play tournament tennis nowadays?
I remember when Bob told me about a time when he got accepted into a tournament in California because of his high ranking. But once he arrived, and the tournament director saw that he was black, Ryland was told to “Go get some lunch and come back.”
When he returned, the tournament director said that his opponent showed up and Ryland wasn’t here, so he was disqualified. Of course, this was intentional because of the color of his skin.
Ryland also frequently was pulled over by the police for no reason. There were blacks strung up on trees and also dragged down the street when he was a young boy. He lived through hell.
Bob Ryland could easily be bitter and angry at those situations, but he isn’t. According to him, “It is what it is.”
Much of life is not what happens to us, but how we react.
I am proud to say that Bob Ryland is a dear friend, hero and role model. Bob will be 91 years young this June 16th and you can be sure he will be around the Central Park Tennis Courts once the weather warms up.
Many people say, “Be like Mike.” Today, I say, “Be like Bob.”
Thanks for reading.
MESSAGE #1310 FORGET IT
Suppose you are playing a tennis match and the score is tied. Your opponent hits you a weak shot and you…hit the ball into the bottom of the net.
How do you react?
If you’re like most people, you will either, let out a sigh of frustration, say something like, “How can you miss that?!?” or perhaps even hit your racquet on the ground.
Do these reactions help you or hurt you?
They hurt you, of course. Plus, you will give your opponent increased confidence to “finish you off.”
Here’s a better response for next time:
1. Transfer the racquet into your opposite hand.
2. Immediately turn away from the net.
3. Walk confidently.
4. Take a long, deep breath.
5. Think about how you can make an adjustment next time.
6. Say an affirmation to yourself like, “That shot is in the past—I can’t control the past. Let it go and focus on this point.”
7. Move your feet like a boxer, and get ready for the next point.
8. Think about your strategy for the next point.
9. Trust your game.
10. Just play.
The greatest athletes in history have something in common, and that is, they are able to let go of past. You can too, it’s a choice.
Thanks for reading.
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MESSAGE #1301 HOW TO BE MENTALLY TOUGH: FACE YOUR FEARS
William James is known as the father of American psychology. He once said:
“Everybody should do at least two things each day that he hates to do, just for practice.”
I call this mental cross-training.
There will always be things you dislike doing–laundry, homework, making sales calls, practicing, or eating healthy, for instance. But what if we didn’t feel like doing these things and did them anyway? How would that make us feel? I would guess that it would make us feel pretty good; it would make us feel proud. That would give us confidence. And it would give us momentum. That’s part of mental toughness.
Winners do what losers don’t feel like doing.
In other words…
You have to get comfortable being uncomfortable.
Begin today.
MESSAGE #1298 CONTROL WHAT YOU CAN CONTROL
Recently, I put this quote on my facebook wall:
”Care about people’s approval and you will be their prisoner.” -LAO TZU
It was very well-received, but what does it mean?
As an athlete, we have many potential external distractions. Common ones include: spectators, coaches, parents, friends, weather, fans, media, etc.
If we care what everyone thinks, we will be their prisoner and will not be able to perform to our potential.
These external distractions are out of our control.
We should not worry about things that are out of our control.
Instead, we need to focus on the things we can control, and all of those things are within us. That is where the true power is.
Inside.
Control yourself and you can control your destiny.
Let others control you and your destiny is in their hands.
MESSAGE #1286 STRESSED OUT? DO THIS
There will be a time in the near future when you will be stressed out.
The stress might come from the pressure of a sports competition. It may come from an exam. Or it may come from asking for a raise.
We can’t avoid stress.
But we can avoid being paralyzed by it.
There is a powerful technique I have the athletes I work with use when the pressure is on, and it can help you too.
Here’s what you do:
1. Take a deep, diaphragmatic breath, inhale through your nose for four seconds then exhale through your nose for four seconds.
2. Repeat.
3. Think of a game plan (no more than two things).
4. Visualize yourself carrying out that game plan successfully.
5. Just do it.
MESSAGE #1281 AN EXERCISE
Do you remember a time when you performed REALLY well?
Perhaps you were playing tennis and you could not miss, or you were working and had unbelievable focus, or you were performing a violin recital and nailed it.
Here’s your assignment:
Go back in time to when you were performing at your peak. Write down:
1. Where you were
2. What you were feeling
3. What you were thinking
4. Smells
5. Sounds
6. What your body language was
After doing this exercise, you now have a model of success. Go to this model when things aren’t going so well. Read it and re-create it.
Better yet, create a voice memo on your phone and listen to it whenever you are in a slump.
Slumps are part of life, you can’t control that.
The only thing you can control is HOW YOU REACT TO THEM.
Leave your comments below.
MESSAGE #1280 WHAT I LIKE TO WATCH
Obviously I like sports.
I like playing sports and I like watching sports.
But I’m not one of those guys that has Sports Center on at my house 24/7.
There is, however, something that I can’t watch enough of…
Upsets in sports.
The Davids beating the Goliaths.
I love watching the little guys beat the big guys.
Why?
Because it shows that anything can happen.
It’s not the better player or team that wins, it’s the player or team that plays better that wins.
Yesterday at the Australian Open, fourth-seed, Robin Soderling of Sweden lost to Alexandr Dolgopolov of Ukraine, 1-6, 6-3, 6-1, 4-6, 6-2.
On paper, Soderling should have won, but he didn’t.
Upsets are part of sports (and life) but many people are defeated before the competition even begins. They think, “Oh, he will probably win.” or “There is no way that team will lose.”
There is a way and it is possible.
So the next time you are the underdog and you come up against a tough opponent, a tough customer, or a tough situation, remember that anything can happen.
And go all-out!
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