MESSAGE #493 LEARNED HELPLESSNESS

/0 Comments/in /by

Today’s message is especially dedicated to the great Bob Ryland.

In India, they tie the leg of a baby elephant to a stake in the ground so that it stays within the length of the rope. This rope is strong enough to keep the baby restrained, so it eventually learns that it cannot go any further and gives up.

As the elephant grows up into a massive creature, it could easily break free from the rope, but doesn’t because it has been previously conditioned.

People are the same way. Psychologists call it “learned helplessness,” which means because of certain past events, we think that we are helpless and do not have the power to change our circumstances.

But this is false. It’s all psychological.

So what’s holding you back?

Do you know what is keeping you from starting your own business?…picking up the guitar?…improving your serve?…or travelling more?

I’ll tell you what, it’s YOU!

Don’t be an elephant, break the rope!

You don’t have to be great at the start, but you need to start to be great.

Thanks for reading.

MESSAGE #492 A DAY WITH A LIVING LEGEND…

/0 Comments/in /by


Bob Ryland, the first black professional tennis player.


Bob’s wife Nancy said he couldn’t put the book down!


New friends. Notice the photos of Bob and Arthur Ashe in the background.


A wonderful gift from the great one.

So yesterday I spent the day with Bob Ryland. I don’t know where to begin. It’s amazing enough that he was the first black professional tennis player. But he was also Arthur Ashe’s hero. He coached the Williams sisters, and travelled around the world as Bill Cosby’s personal tennis coach.

I went to Mr. Ryland’s apartment on the Upper West Side of New York City to talk about the book he wants me to help him write. I hit the record button on the brand new bright white digital recorder as the 88 year old tennis legend talked about his life, on and off the court. He brought me back in time to his early days in Alabama around the 1920s. He was called racist names and frequently saw blacks “strung up” in the trees outside his front door while walking to school in the morning. He really had to sit in the back of the bus, and if it was too full, he had to either stand or get off. They had separate bathrooms and water fountains for blacks. And in college, the black players had to wait until night to sneak into the dorms to sleep. The white boys on the tennis team went into the shops to get them food and brought it to them. And yes, he almost got killed several times.

I have read about those days in the history books, but Bob Ryland lived those days. If Bob was a bitter man, I probably wouldn’t blame him, but he says, “I’m just a regular guy. I overcame adversity and became better because of it.”

Bob has coached the Williams sisters and told me a secret. “They weren’t more talented than everyone else, they just worked harder. 6am to 6pm was their workout schedule.” So if you want to become a great tennis player, just train like a great tennis player.

So Bob knows the importance of overcoming adversity and how hard work beats talent, but the thing that really stuck with me is that Bob really is just a regular guy.

I asked him what the most important lessons he has learned in his life and he said: be a good person, listen, and smile.

He didn’t mention anything about tennis…a regular guy?

I don’t think so.

None of my blog readers should ever complain that their life is tough.

” ‘Game. Set. Life.’ can help you accomplish whatever you want in life and teach you how to stay ahead of the game, concentrate, focus, and give you confidence. I wish I had read this book when I was playing.”
-BOB RYLAND, December 2, 2008, New York City


Thanks for reading.

Checkout “Game. Set. Life.” in The Daily Racquet in Hawaii…

http://dailyracquet.typepad.com/my_weblog/2008/12/index.html

MESSAGE #491 CONFIDENCE

/0 Comments/in /by

“A lack of confidence is just your body reminding you that you haven’t done the work.”
-RON GRAINGER

Now get to work…



Thanks for reading.

MESSAGE #490

/0 Comments/in /by

Moses and St. Peter were playing golf in heaven, as they sometimes did in their spare time.

Moses teed off with a smooth, practiced swing and sent the ball rocketing down the fairway and onto the green. He smiled inwardly, knowing that St. Peter would have a hard time matching that first shot.

When St. Peter addressed the ball, he did so a bit hastily, and his drive hooked sharply toward the trees. Moses could barely conceal his amusement. The first hole was going to be his by a number of strokes.

But then, from out of nowhere, an eagle swooped down above the fairway, reached the hooking ball just as it was about to disappear in the greenery, and snatched it in its beak. The eagle then flew off toward the green, circled above it, and dropped the ball neatly in the cup.

“All right, Pete,” said Moses grimly, “are we going to play golf, or are we going to fool around?”

MESSAGE #489 LEARN FROM THE GREATS…

/0 Comments/in /by

Do you believe that there’s greatness inside you?

Well, it’s true. So why, then doesn’t everyone achieve greatness?

Here are my top four reasons…

1. People don’t believe that they can be great.

2. They quit too early.

3. They don’t want it badly enough.

4. They try to figure everything out themselves.

One of the quickest ways to become great at whatever you do is to do what the great ones are doing. If you want to become a great tennis player, find out what the great ones are doing, and copy them. Train like they train. Eat what they eat. Think how they think.

Work, school and music are the same way.

“If I wanted to become a tramp,
I would seek information and advice
from the most successful tramp I could find.
If I wanted to become a failure
I would seek advice from men
who have never succeeded.
If I wanted to succeed in all things,
I would look around me
for those who are succeeding,
and do as they have done.”
-JOSEPH MARSHALL WADE

Thanks for reading.

MESSAGE #488 BE HAPPY…INSTANTLY!

/0 Comments/in /by

“If you observe a really happy man,
you will find him building a boat,
writing a symphony,
educating his son,
growing double dahlias,
or looking for dinosaur eggs in the Gobi Desert.

He will not be searching for happiness
as if it were a collar button
that had rolled under the radiator,
striving for it as the goal itself.

He will have become aware
that he is happy in the course of living life
twenty-four crowded hours of each day.”
-W. BERAN WOLFE

That’s the secret to happiness in life. Enjoying the process. Every moment. Staying in the present. Immersing yourself in everything you do.

Sports are the same way – once you start enjoying every aspect of your sport, the winning, the losing, the sun, the wind, your opponent, the hard work and performing under pressure, you will become happy and win more.

Now, I know what you’re thinking…WHY would I enjoy the sun, and wind?

Put it this way, most people hate playing in the sun and wind don’t they? Well, if you practice in those conditions, you will not only perform better when the conditions are ideal, but when there is sun and wind, you will be used to it and your opponent won’t. Advantage you.


Thanks for reading.

MESSAGE #487 HOW TO GET TO THE NEXT LEVEL IN SPORTS AND LIFE…

/0 Comments/in /by

Today’s message is especially dedicated to Adina Schicchi.

How can you get to the next level?

Well, let me ask you this…

Who is your team? Now, I’m not just talking about a sports team. I’m talking about a work team. A relationship team. A friendship team.

Do you surround yourself with people who support you? Who push you? All the successful people in the world have a good team around them. I’m motivated, but I still have great people around me so I can stay motivated. And it’s a team, so we motivate each other.

Maybe this story will help paint a better picture…

The rich father gathered the young men around a swimming pool filled with alligators. He promised his daughter in marriage, a sports car, two oil wells, and a top position in his company to anyone who had the courage and skill to swim across the pool.

Immediately, a young man splashed in and swam like blazes to the other side. The crowd went wild, clapping and cheering as the hero made it across. The rich father ran to his side, congratulated him, then asked, “Which prize do you want first?”

“First,” the young man sputtered, “I want the name of the guy who pushed me into the pool!”


We all need a push sometimes. There are things we don’t even know we’re capable of until we get out of our comfort zones.

So look at your team around you and see if they’re pushing you forward or keeping you back.

Start to get comfortable being uncomfortable.


Thanks for reading.

MESSAGE #486 A POEM

/0 Comments/in /by

I am thankful for…

my family
my friends
and puppy, Babe, too.

my house
my clothes
and lots of good food.

I am also thankful for…

my racquet
tennis balls
and even my shoes.

the cold
the wind
and whether I win or lose.

But I don’t understand…

people who are thankful
for food, family, and friends only today…

We should be thankful every day!


Happy Thanksgiving.



Thanks for reading.

MESSAGE #485 A NIGHT TO REMEMBER…

/1 Comment/in /by


Former NYC Mayor David Dinkins shows his “Game. Set. Life.” spirit at the Harlem Junior Tennis and Education Fundraiser.


Justin Gimelstob and James Blake


Bob Ryland, the first black professional tennis player


Junior Clinic


The Juniors and Celebrities

The Harlem Junior Tennis and Education Program (www.harlemjuniortennis.org) started back in 1972 and their motto is, “Not just a program – a way of life.”
Yesterday, I stopped by their annual fundraiser to donate a copy of my book to the program and to take some photos and interview some people for my blog.

Katrina Adams is the executive director, and she says, “We use tennis as a vehicle to get kids to go to college.”

The fundraiser included a one-hour junior clinic, a cocktail reception, with silent and live auction and a celebrity exhibition.
James Blake was there. Justin Gimelstob was there. Bob Ryland, the first black professional tennis player was there. Former NYC Mayor David Dinkins was there.
I spent some time with each of these great individuals.
I asked James Blake how he felt about the event and program.
“I love it. It’s where I used to play and the volunteers truly make it special. I’ve been coming back for seven or eight years now. I see some familiar faces and some new faces. This program is really about life. You learn to compete, improve, set goals, and work hard.”
Justin Gimelstob added, “This is my first year and the Blake brothers are really doing a great thing here. They’re really giving back. The student athletes in this program are learning about success and failure, how to overcome adversity, and it’s quite an opportunity.”
*Note: James and Thomas Blake both went through this program and went on to Harvard.
Bob Ryland, now 88, was the first black professional tennis player. Prior to turning pro at age 35, he was the #1 ranked player in the
ATA (American Tennis Association), which was for black tennis players. At age 14, the great Arthur Ashe said, “I just want to be as good as Bob Ryland.” Ryland has coached the Williams sisters, Bill Cosby, Tony Bennett, Barbara Streisand, and Dustin Hoffman, among others. I asked him if he thought the Williams sisters were more talented than everyone else and Ryland responded, in his soft voice, “I don’t think they were more talented than everyone else, they just worked harder.” Ryland feels that the Harlem Tennis and Education Program is a great opportunity for the kids and it gives them options that he never had growing up.
I also had a great conversation with former NYC Mayor, David Dinkins. “I am very enthused about this event. They are doing very important work here. Some of these children could grow up and become the next James Blake, or get a scholarship for college. But the main benefit of this program is to make all of them better people; it’s about life lessons.”
I couldn’t agree more.
Also participating, were Thomas Blake, Kristie Ahn, Gail Brodsky, Gail Marquis, of the silver medal 1976 US Basketball team, and David Graham.
I left the event inspired, motivated, and in awe because I gave James Blake, Justin Gimelstob, Katrina Adams, Bob Ryland and Mayor Dinkins my autograph (inside “Game. Set. Life.”).
Thanks for reading.
BE SURE TO CHECKOUT “GAME. SET. LIFE.” IN THIS MONTH’S ISSUE OF INSIDE TENNIS MAGAZINE (p 34).

MESSAGE #484

/0 Comments/in /by

“Life is full of hill…Some days it’s uphill…some days it’s downhill…mostly it’s side hill.”
-CHARLIE BROWN, in a “Peanuts” cartoon