I have a feeling someone reading this wants to win more. Here’s how you do it…
Look at the letters of “WIN”…
What’s Important Now.
When you are competing, giving a presentation, or taking a test, focus on what is important. Focus on what will help you win. This is not the time to focus on the results. You can’t control results anyway.
So what’s important now?
Your effort, your attitude, and your reactions.
Give a full effort and trust your game.
That’s it.
Last Friday, I went into New York City to visit my good friend, Bob Ryland, the first black professional tennis player. Bob was Arthur Ashe’s hero and used to coach Barbra Streisand, Bill Cosby and the Williams sisters. We had a wonderful lunch and talked about tennis and life. He is one of my heros, and if you want to watch the video we did back in 2009 at his NYC home, click here.
While I was riding the subway, last Friday, I heard some city kids talking about school. I assume they were seniors in high school because one of them mentioned a tip that her teacher gave her about college.
“My teacher told me to hang out with the jocks in college…because they have copies of all the tests.”
Most students just want the “A,” and most athletes just want the “trophy.”
I think much of society has it all wrong.
Assume this student gets all “A’s” by getting all of the tests.
Then what? Will she graduate and then become a great worker that has character?
No, she will either be lost and/or try to “cheat” in her job, as well.
This is a recipe for disaster.
As a coach, and future parent, I have children focus on the love of learning; the love of constant improvement. When you enjoy the process, including the challenges, you have more satisfaction in what you are doing. Not only that, but you will also retain more of your skill.
There is no easy path to success.
Actually, there is…
HARD WORK.
Confidence is one of the keys to success. There are many sources of confidence, such as hard work, body language, past achievements, etc.
Try giving yourself a steady diet of positive thoughts and affirmations, throughout your day, and especially during competition. You get what you focus on, but unfortunately, most people focus on the negative, or what they don’t want to happen.
Here are some sample affirmations:
“I am a confident athlete who goes all-out, whether I feel like it or not, and inspires others to do the same.”
“When the pressure is greatest, I love competition the most.”
Your affirmations:
__________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________
Pitchers and catchers have already reported to spring training camp and position players report in a couple of days. Baseball is in the air again, and players are getting ready for their upcoming season. Some are trying to get in shape and others are trying to make an impression.
At the professional level, everyone has the physical skills, but part of what sets the minor league players and the major league players apart, is the mental side.
I know some baseball players in the Yankees organization who will be trying to make an impression down in Tampa this spring. You know who you are, and if you’re reading this, here’s my advice to you:
1. Go all-out—Be the most energetic player on the field. If you hustle on and off the field, not only will the coaches notice, you will actually FEEL more energetic and your performance will increase.
2. Ignore that little voice inside your head—There will be times that your inner voice will speak negatively to you. That’s normal. But you don’t have to believe that voice. Accept it, let it go, and act like the most confident player on the field.
3. Just do it—The great philosopher, Yogi Berra said, “A full mind is an empty bat. You can’t think and hit at the same time.” Trust your game and all the hard work you’ve put in.
4. Visualize—The more you visualize how you want to perform, the more likely you will perform at a high level. Most athletes leave their performance to chance—something YOU don’t want to do.
5. Focus on the process—Don’t worry about results, you can’t control that. Worry, instead about the things you can control, like your effort, your attitude, your energy level and your reactions to situations. When you do this, you will get better results. Oh, and have fun!
That’s it. See you in Tampa on March 9th.
One of my favorite sayings is:
“Doubt your doubts.”
We all have a little negative voice inside our heads that shows up every once in a while (more often for some people).
Recently, I was coaching some tennis players and I introduced topspin to them. Before they even hit one ball, one of the players said, “Oh, I can’t do that.”
I was in shock.
This was a grown woman and she was counting herself out before she even started.
Fortunately, I was able to help her re-frame her negative voice and she actually performed quite well, but it could have been ugly. This type of limiting attitude is quite common, but we can choose to believe it, or doubt it.
Choose wisely.
Thanks for reading.
William James is known as the father of American psychology. He once said:
“Everybody should do at least two things each day that he hates to do, just for practice.”
I call this mental cross-training.
There will always be things you dislike doing–laundry, homework, making sales calls, practicing, or eating healthy, for instance. But what if we didn’t feel like doing these things and did them anyway? How would that make us feel? I would guess that it would make us feel pretty good; it would make us feel proud. That would give us confidence. And it would give us momentum. That’s part of mental toughness.
Winners do what losers don’t feel like doing.
In other words…
You have to get comfortable being uncomfortable.
Begin today.
Recently, I put this quote on my facebook wall:
”Care about people’s approval and you will be their prisoner.” -LAO TZU
It was very well-received, but what does it mean?
As an athlete, we have many potential external distractions. Common ones include: spectators, coaches, parents, friends, weather, fans, media, etc.
If we care what everyone thinks, we will be their prisoner and will not be able to perform to our potential.
These external distractions are out of our control.
We should not worry about things that are out of our control.
Instead, we need to focus on the things we can control, and all of those things are within us. That is where the true power is.
Inside.
Control yourself and you can control your destiny.
Let others control you and your destiny is in their hands.
Gandhi said:
“Full effort is full victory.”
What does this mean?
Here’s how I see it:
1. Go all-out.
2. Focus more on your effort.
3. Focus less on your results.
4. Most people don’t give it their all.
5. When you focus on the “process,” (effort) you get the “product” (winning) that you want.
Let’s face it, most people play a reactionary game.
When they play well, they react positively.
When they play poorly, they react negatively.
The champions create how they play.
Here’s a great exercise to help you play your best game more often:
1. Think of a past great performance.
2. On an index card, write down what you did well during that performance.
3. Write down what you were focusing on.
4. Write down how you were feeling.
5. Write down what type of body language you had.
6. Keep that index card in your bag.
7. Read it before you practice or compete.
8. Then go out and duplicate that performance.
At the end of an athlete’s career, he/she never says, “I wish I would have held back.”
If successful, an athlete most likely will say, “I’m glad I went all-out.”
Taking risks is a key element to success in sports and life. You need to get out of your comfort zone.
Do you want to be comfortable, or do you want to be great?
Today, I took a risk.
I emailed Martin Seligman, the father of Positive Psychology. The guy is a rock star.
Part of me felt that I shouldn’t do it. Why would he want to talk to me?
But I did it anyway.
Not only did he respond, he shared some valuable resources with me.
Have you ever NOT reached out to someone who you thought wouldn’t give you the time of day?
Have you ever NOT hit a shot that you thought you might miss?
It happens all the time. But when that occurs, people are just training themselves to hold back.
Is that how you want to play the game?