MESSAGE #1003 MIND GAMES

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“After each of us got a drink, I made my way to the baseline. Panic started to expand inside me like poison gas. My legs felt wobbly and my breathing grew rapid. This was too big of an occasion to blow it because of prematch jitters.”
(“I Against I” by James Martin, Tennis Magazine, May 2010)

Does this scenario sound familiar?

These feelings started BEFORE the match even began, but it happens all the time.

These feelings are normal.

I get nervous before every talk I give, but I know that I do not have to act how I feel. I act confident and energetic and then something amazing happens, I start FEELING confident and energetic. Most people act how they feel and then they get results that they don’t like. It doesn’t have to be that way. It’s a choice. When the catcher in baseball gives the pitcher a sign for a fastball, curveball, changeup, etc, the pitcher has the choice to “shake the catcher off” and choose a different sign or pitch. You don’t have to live in your negative feelings. Accept them, and then act how you want to feel.

You can use this principle in any area of life.

And you can start today.

MESSAGE #1002 CREATIVITY

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Today’s message is especially dedicated to the great Jonathan Star.

 

Are you reacting to life, or are you CREATING what you want?

If you’re like most people, you are reacting to what life brings.

On the tennis court, most players react to the last point, good or bad.

After we lose a point, we generally have a negative response. After we win a point, we generally have a positive response.

The secret however, is to CREATE a winning point and feeling, BEFORE the point begins.

I just finished reading the manuscript of one of the best books I have read recently, “GAME ‘ON’: THE FLOW, THE ZONE & THE STATE OF ‘ON,’ IN SPORTS AND LIFE” by Jonathan Star.

In his book, Star talks about this idea of creating what you want instead of reacting to the last one.

Star says that if you lose a point, you should let it go immediately and if you win a point, you should stay with that winning feeling until right before the next point begins.

“In my own view of things, being ‘in the zone’ refers to a state where everything is going right, where you are making your shots, where there is a certain ease and flow to your game. The state of ‘on’ – or what we may call ‘full on,’ since there are different levels in this state – is not so much a feeling that everything is going right, but the feeling that you can do no wrong. It is an elevation of the zone – you’re not in the zone, you’re not going with the flow, you’re creating it. You are not ‘in’ the state, you are the state. But you come to feel this way when you allow a higher dimension of your self to enter the game and bring it to a whole new level.”

Are you creating, or are you reacting?

Stay tuned for more on the state of “on.”

MESSAGE #1001 HOW TO WIN MORE

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Today’s message is especially dedicated to the boys tennis team at Bolsa Grande High School in California.

 

Many players and teams go into a match thinking, “that team is really good; we have no chance of winning.”

The problem with this mindset is that it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Henry Ford once said, “Whether you think you can or think you can’t, either way, you’re right.”

The best team doesn’t win.

The team that plays best wins.

The Davids beat the Goliaths all the time.

The fastest horse does not always win the race.

If you go all-out, you’re a winner. If you hold back, you’re not.

Any questions?

MESSAGE #999 LEADERSHIP (and failure)

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Today I’m going back to where I failed out twice, Rider University, while studying computers.

No, I’m not going back to get my degree (I have a degree from Ferris State University’s Marketing/Professional Tennis Management program).

I’m going back to Rider to be the opening speaker for their Team Leadership Challenge. This is my second time speaking at this great event and this year’s theme is  “Navigating Your Way to Success.”

That’s funny to me.

When I started college it was as if I needed a map, but after failing out twice, I CHOSE to follow my passion (sports) and transferred to Ferris State. My grades skyrocketed. I graduated in 1997 and was named Pro of the Year for the USTA in 2005. After that, I started my own business, wrote a book and became a motivational speaker.

So what is leadership?

I think a big part of leadership is being brave enough to follow your passion. It’s about helping others. Leaders do things because it is the right thing to do, regardless of what others may think. That’s when people will follow. But it’s not about having followers…

The function of leadership is to produce more leaders, not more followers. -RALPH NADER

If you look at all of the great leaders in history, they all made everyone else better, whether it is Michael Jordan, Oprah Winfrey, Martin Luther King or Henry Ford. Focusing on yourself is weak. Focusing on others is powerful.

So today I hope to motivate, energize, and inspire the students at Rider, but more importantly, I hope to produce more leaders.

MESSAGE #998 THE TAO

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From the Tao Te Ching (written around 500 B.C.)…

A great misfortune comes about
With the feeling, ‘I have an enemy’
For when ‘I’ and ‘enemy’ exist together
There is no room left for my treasure

Thus, when two opponents meet
The one who does not see an enemy
Will surely triumph (69)

MESSAGE #997 HOW ‘BOUT THESE APPLES

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Today’s message is especially dedicated to the great Laura Mosiello.

One of my all-time favorite quotes is, “Anyone can count the number of seeds in an apple; no one can count the number of apples in a seed.”

What does this quote mean?

You have unlimited potential. Don’t let what others say affect what you are capable of. NOBODY knows what you are capable of. The sky’s the limit.

Here’s another type of Apple – I recently got an iPhone and I absolutely love it. I know many Apple users and they all agree that their customer service is by far the best. Below is a great quote, this time by Apple co-founder and CEO, Steve Jobs.

Your time is limited, don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma, which is living the result of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinion drowned your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition, they somehow already know what yo truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

MESSAGE #996 FEAR

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Today’s message is especially dedicated to Justin Cohen and Kristen Carlin. Happy Birthday to two peak performers.

FEAR – False Experiences Appearing Real

Have you ever feared an opponent before you even started playing?

Why would you do that?

Once we perceive our opponent as a “threat” they own our power and our energy.

Let me put it this way…

Think back to a time when you were totally “on” your game. Did you notice that everything was “just” flowing? Did you notice that you were playing with loose focus and had very little self-talk?

We play best when we “just do it” and focus on our strategy, effort and energy (controllables).

Fear to some people is excitement to others. (Think of a roller coaster).

Supposedly, when Pete Sampras was at 5-5 in a set, a time when most people tighten up, he thought to himself, “Oh yea, this is what it’s all about.” He loved the pressure.

It may take ten years (or the rest of time) to get even close to Sampras, physically, but you can be just as good as him almost instantly by having the same mindset as him.

MESSAGE #994 OPPORTUNITY

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Every game is an opportunity to measure yourself against your own potential.
— Bud Wilkinson

 

MESSAGE #991 A PEAK PERFORMANCE PRINCIPLE: HOW TO CREATE GREATNESS

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Today’s message is especially dedicated to Manon Bollegraf in the Netherlands, Ash Kulkarni in New York City, Candice Carlin in Philadelphia and Kimberly Slater in Cherry Hill, NJ. Happy Birthday to you all!

 

Before you set foot onto the tennis court next time, ask yourself this question…

Am I going to let how I play determine my attitude, or am I going to let my attitude determine how I play?

Think about it – most people react to how they play, but the great ones CREATE how they want to play; it’s a choice.

Act as if it were impossible to fail.

 

For those of you going to the Caesars Tennis Classic in Atlantic City today, look for me in the press box. I will be taking photographs and shooting videos. Find me and you win a prize.