MESSAGE #1025 BE A BLACK SWAN

A BLACK SWAN is “the existence and occurrence of high-impact, hard-to-predict, and rare events that are beyond the realm of normal expectations.” (Wikipedia)

Roger Banister breaking the four-minute mile was a BLACK SWAN event.

David beating Goliath was a BLACK SWAN event.

Ed Tseng failing out of Rider College twice and then going back to speak (twice) at their Leadership Day was a BLACK SWAN event.

BLACK SWAN events happen all the time in sports and life. The fastest horse doesn’t always win the race. The students with the best grades don’t always become successful.

So why then, do so many people count themselves out before the competition begins?

Why do people think that success is only for the lucky few?

What you believe, you achieve.

Be a BLACK SWAN.

*CONGRATULATIONS TO THE GREAT JOEY CLAWSON, SPECIAL OLYMPICS GOLD MEDALIST, WHO GRADUATES FROM THE COLLEGE OF NEW JERSEY TODAY. WAY TO GO, JOE!*

MESSAGE #1024 HOW TO WIN MORE PART II

Today’s message is especially dedicated to the great tennis coach, Javier Perez Cigoj in Argentina.

So yesterday I talked about negative reactions on the court and why they can hurt your performance and results.

Soon after, I received a message from Javier, a tennis coach in Argentina and he said, “Great message, but how should you act instead?”

Well, Javier, the key is to let the point go – you can think about how to make an adjustment, but then, keep it in the past.

1. Take a couple deep breaths (to stay in the present and to lower your heart rate).
2. Project a confident image.
3. Think about where you want to hit your next shot.
4. Focus on the things you can control (your energy, attitude, strategy and effort).
5. Cultivate the feeling of winning the next point (even before the point begins).

The best way to increase your chances of winning is to not focus on winning.

Focus on the process instead of the product and as a by-product you will win more.

MESSAGE #1023 HOW TO WIN MORE

IMAGINE THIS…

You are playing a match. The score is 30-30, 5-5 in the final set. Your return is nice and deep which forces your opponent to hit a weak shot. You hit a nice deep approach shot, follow it to net and get a high floating ball to your forehand side. You hit it, it hits the top of the net and you lose the point.

How do you react?

Most players would react negatively with their body language, self-talk or hit their racquet on the ground.

This works to your opponent’s advantage because…

1. You will boost their confidence.
2. By reacting negatively, you actually produce different hormones in your body and create muscle tension (which makes you play poorly).
3. You will decrease your chances of winning the match.

I have worked with some high level players and most of them play unbelievable when they are “on” but when they start losing, their games and body language deteriorate.

This is fairly normal.

Do you want to be normal or do you want to be great?

Act as if it were impossible to fail. -DOROTHEA BRANDE

MESSAGE #1022 INTERVIEW WITH NEHA UBEROI

In this video blog, Ed Tseng interviews former professional tennis player, Neha Uberoi, as they talk about her toughest opponent, mental toughness and Princeton University.

MESSAGE #1021 WHAT CHAMPIONS DO IN PRACTICE…

Today’s message is especially dedicated to the great Didi Fisher Weinreb.

What determines if a player becomes a champion?

Part of it is practice.

A lot of practice. 10,000 hours in fact, according to most performance experts.

But practice does not make perfect.

Perfect practice makes perfect. Some call it “deliberate practice” or “purposeful practice.”

Either way, the road to becoming a champion needs the following ingredients:

1. A lot of practice (20 hours per week for 10 years = 10,000 hours).

2. Practice sessions must focus on progress (instead of results).

3. Practice sessions must be focused on improving your weaknesses (AND improving your strengths).

“When most people practice, they focus on the things they can do effortlessly. Expert practice is different. It entails considerable, specific ,and sustained efforts to do something you can’t do well – or even at all. Research across domains shows that it is only by working at what you can’t do that you turn into the expert you want to become,” said psychologist, S.W. Tyler.

Matthew Syed says that “…the practice sessions of aspiring champions have a specific and never-changing purpose: progress. Every second of every minute of every hour, the goal is to extend one’s mind and body, to push oneself beyond the outer limits of one’s capacities, to engage so deeply in the task that one leaves the training session, literally a changed person.”

How will YOU practice today?

MESSAGE #1016 BE INFLUENTIAL (If you want)

I am currently reading the latest issue of Time magazine, entitled, “The 100 Most Influential People in the World.”

I like to think that I will be in that issue one day; not because I want to say that I have that title, but because I truly want to make as big of a difference in the world that I can.

And you can too.

I know what you’re thinking, “What if I don’t want to be an influential figure? What if I’m happy with what I have?”

Then by all means, continue with what you are doing.

But the wrong mindset is that it is not possible. It is possible.

It won’t happen overnight, but if you figure out the right strategy, put in the work and truly have a passion for it…the sky’s the limit.

It doesn’t matter if you’re a tennis player, musician or accountant; you have unlimited potential.

My friend Bob Ryland, the first black professional tennis player used to coach the Williams sisters, and the first thing I ever asked him was, “Were they more talented than everyone else?”

“No, in fact I didn’t think they were talented at all at first, but they worked harder than anyone else (from 6am-6pm, with breaks of course).”

Yes, talent and physicality help, however, they are not the determining factors.

Remember, ANYBODY can count the number of seeds in an apple; NOBODY can count the number of apples in a seed.

Your potential is unlimited.

MESSAGE #1013 ANGER

Today’s message is especially dedicated to all the players out there who have anger management issues.

I once had a student who would often get angry at himself after losing a point. And by once, I mean, I “often” have students who get angry and negative during competition.

Negativity and anger are common challenges for competitive players, but here’s the good news…

This can be overcome with training (just like fixing your backhand).

What do you say to yourself after you lose a point?

“I can’t believe you missed that shot!”

“You stink!”

“What’s wrong with you?!?”

Let’s analyze this voice for a second…

Does this “inner coach” help you perform better?

Of course not. What if a real coach spoke like this to their player? Wouldn’t you find a new coach?

If this is an issue for you, you need to find a new “inner coach.”

This inner coach should say something like…

“No problem. How can I make an adjustment? Good, now let’s focus on the next point.”

“That point is in the past, let’s focus on the next one.”

“You’re still in control. Let’s go!”

What you say to yourself between points will determine how you play and what kind of results you get.

How do YOU want to play and what kind of results do YOU want to get?

Remember this secret formula: S + A = R (Situation plus Attitude equals Result).

MESSAGE #1011 HANGING OUT WITH A CHAMPION

One thing that I have learned here in Orlando talking to some great coaches and mental toughness experts is this…

Champions are not normal.

They don’t have normal brains.

Lorenzo Beltrame shared a story about when he beat Pete Sampras twice on clay during a training session. He didn’t know how to console “Pistol” but before he could think of something, Pete said “This is great! I feel like I’m playing well and ready!”

That is not normal.

And last night I spent some time with Mark Dickson, former World #32, who has beaten Lendl and was even Agassi’s doubles partner. He was telling me about the days leading up to his match with Lendl, then #1 in the world. He visualized his strategy every day and EXPECTED to beat him. In his mind, he thought, “I can’t believe I’m going to beat the World #1.” And then he did in 45 minutes. I asked Dickson if he ever went into a match thinking he didn’t have a chance. He said “No.” And when he did lose, he thought, “What a great learning experience!”

That is not normal!

Well today I will be wrapping up a great 2.5 days at the Human Performance Institute and heading back home. Next stop, Philadelphia!

Have a great day everyone!

Homework: Don’t be normal today.

MESSAGE #1009 LIVE FROM ORLANDO!

So here I am at the hotel in Orlando getting ready to start a two and a half day workshop on mental toughness at the Human Performance Institute created by the great Jim Loehr, who has worked with Pete Sampras, Monica Seles, Jim Courier and many more.

I did not sleep at all. I was too excited about learning, networking and whatever else the next 2.5 days have in store. But I feel good. I feel REALLY good. In my insomnia, I read a great story from “Zen Golf” by Dr. Joseph Parent. Here it is…

 

A young man had a clay statue, a family heirloom. He’d always wished that it were bright shiny gold instead of plain brown clay. When he began to earn a living, he put aside a little now and then, until he had enough for his special project: to have his statue covered with gold.

Now it looked just the way he wanted it to, and people admired it. He felt very proud that he had a gold statue. However, the gold-plating didn’t stick to the clay very well, and it wasn’t long before it began to flake off in spots. So he had it gold-plated again. Soon he found himself using all his time and resources to maintain the gold facade of his statue.

One day his grandfather returned from a journey of many years. The young man wanted to show him how he had made the clay statue into a gold one. However, clay was showing through in many spots, so he was somewhat embarrassed.

The old man smiled and held the statue lovingly. With a moist cloth he gently rubbed it and gradually dissolved some of the clay. “Many years ago, the statue must have fallen in the mud and become covered with it. As a very young child, you wouldn’t have known the difference. You forgot, and thought it was just a clay statue. But look here.”

He showed his grandson the place where the clay was removed, and a bright yellow color shone through. “Underneath the covering of clay, your statue has been solid gold from the very beginning. You never needed to put more gold on to cover the clay. Now that you know what its nature really is, all you have to do is gently remove the clay and you’ll reveal the gold statue you’ve possessed all along.”

 

You have all of the ability and all of the gold already inside you…you just have to discover the strategies for success.

Work hard, focus on the positive and start removing the clay that has built up from years of conditioning and negative events. Don’t let society, others and your own thoughts tell you what your potential is. I already know what it is…

Solid gold.

MESSAGE #1008 WHAT I LIKE ABOUT MYSELF…

One of the things I like about myself is that I have a growth mindset – I LOVE learning. I love what I do so much that I don’t want to go to bed at night and I can’t wait to get up in the morning.

Well in a few hours I will be hopping a flight from Philadelphia International Airport to Orlando, Florida to attend a mental toughness certification program for 2.5 days. The goal is to learn more about my craft. People say that I have become successful, but I don’t look at it that way;  I will never say that “I’ve made it,” or “I know it all.”

I will never know it all. The sky’s the limit.

Carol Dweck, author of one of my favorite books, “MINDSET: The New Psychology of Success” and professor at Stanford University talks about fixed and growth mindsets.

“I think enjoyment is key.  You have to have a passion for what you do.  It’s not about your parents pushing you or your coach threatening you.  It’s about you just wanting to be better and loving every minute of it.  Not every minute, but most of it.”

I learn from everyone I can, from experts like Dweck, strangers, children…ANYONE.

I use all the brains I have and all that I can borrow. – WINSTON CHURCHILL

Next blog entry from sunny Florida…