Yesterday I was knocked out for most of the day with a headache, stomach-ache and fever, but I had this interview scheduled and did it anyway. I didn’t act how I felt. Can you tell? Enjoy this video blog with Kari Adams, relationship expert and founder of the Princeton Elite Club. https://www.edtseng.com
Ed Tseng interviews one of his she-roes, Jennie Murphy, a student-athlete who is legally blind. https://www.edtseng.com
Ed Tseng interviews Paolo Colandrea, the “Mystery Man” from the final episode of The Sopranos at his restaurant in Penndel, Pennsylvania. https://www.edtseng.com
Enjoy my first video blog with the great Bob Ryland, Arthur Ashe’s hero, and the first black professional tennis player, at his home in New York City. https://www.edtseng.com
Happy Bob Ryland Day to everyone in Mobile, Alabama…and also, of course to the great Bob Ryland in NYC.
Today’s message is especially dedicated to Coach Mark L in Singapore.
Here’s an email I received at 5:19 this morning from Singapore…
Rgds,
Mark L (Singapore)
Here is my response…
Hi Mark,
Thank you for your email and kind words – I love hearing from readers. I also have much gratitude for you reading my daily blog. How did you find it, and what sport do you coach?
Of course I don’t mind you sharing my blog messages with your students. Many coaches print my messages and hand them out to their students. You may also be interested in my book, “Game. Set. Life. – Peak Performance for Sports and Life.” as well.
To answer your question about how to handle students with bad attitudes, I will begin with this…
Praise in public, scold in private.
Here’s what I mean – the best thing to do is catch students doing something right and then say something like, “Bobby, I like how you hustled for that ball!”
Then, that will register with Bobby and he is more likely to do that again.
If you put Bobby down, or punish Bobby, you may get some results, but he will not respect you or have fun.
There may be times when you need to be more stern with Bobby. Wait until after class and tell him that you like him and want him to improve. That you expect a lot out of him and he should expect a lot out of himself. In some cases, Bobby may be extremely bad, then you may warn him that he may have to find a different class, but that would be a last resort.
Once I was teaching a boy who had all the talent in the world, but clearly wasn’t having fun and had a poor attitude. I tried everything, but nothing worked. So finally, when we were picking up balls one day, I asked him if he liked tennis. He said, “No, my mom makes me come.”
I said, “Well, since you’re here, let’s make the most of it and have some fun.” I began asking him what he DID enjoy doing and he mentioned some video games and TV shows. I talked to him about them and then something amazing happened. He started smiling a bit. And then he started smiling a lot. His feet started moving and he began hitting the fuzz off of the ball! He became an enthusiastic tennis player!
On another occasion, I taught this older woman, once a week for a couple of years. No matter what I did, no matter how well she played, she ALWAYS complained about the lesson. So what did I do? I killed her with kindness. Inside I was frustrated, but outside, I was nothing but positive and caring towards her.
Then I started my own company and left the club that I was teaching at. A friend who was still teaching there later told me that she was asking about me. “Where is Ed?”
“He doesn’t teach here anymore – He started his own company.”
And my former pessimistic student responded, “Oh. I always knew he was too good for this place!”
Those were the first positive words I heard come out of her mouth in two years.
So you don’t know what people are thinking.
You don’t know what people are going through.
Many people have bad attitudes because other people have treated them poorly in the past, or they have been conditioned by negative events or thoughts. As coaches, we need to give positive reinforcement to create a paradigm shift.
I hope this helps and please keep in touch. Perhaps I will come give a workshop in Singapore one day soon.
From one coach to another…
All the best,
Ed
In the current issue of Wisdom magazine, Sarah Cimperman, Doctor of Naturopathic Medicine, talks about improving and protecting memory.
“Experts now understand how sleep, exercise, diet, botanical medicine and stress management can improve and protect memory,” says Cimperman.
Don’t care about improving your memory?
It doesn’t matter. These things will help you improve your performance on the field, in the classroom or in the boardroom, too.
Let’s look at the mental side of sports…
An average tennis match lasts about 90 minutes.
Do you know how many of those minutes you are actually playing?
About 18.
18 minutes.
The rest of the time you are thinking, switching sides, picking up balls, etc.
With that said, how often do you work on the rest of those 72 minutes that you are not playing?
Do you work on your focus, relaxation/stress reduction and motivation/activation?
Great ways to cross-train, and manage stress are yoga (my personal favorite), meditation, breathing exercises, progressive muscle relaxation, and qi gong, according to Cimperman.
We all need focus, but we need to work on it just as much as we work on our bodies, otherwise you will be like the boy in MESSAGE #412 http://edtseng.blogspot.com/search?q=message+%23412
Thanks for reading.
“One reason so few of us achieve what we truly want is that we never direct our focus; we never concentrate our power. Most people dabble their way through life, never deciding to master anything in particular.”
-ANTHONY ROBBINS
Today’s message is especially dedicated to the great Kari Adams in Princeton, NJ.
When we play sports, we need to focus. We need to keep our eyes on the ball.
But focus is not enough.
We need to focus on the right things.
1. Focus on your strengths, but focus on your weaknesses too.
2. Focus on where you want to go, not where you don’t.
3. Focus on the things you can control and forget about the things you can’t.
Goal setting is a major component. Write down your goals. Make them specific. Set a time frame in which to reach them. “You can’t hit a target you cannot see.”
My friend, Jeff Greenwald, author of “The Best Tennis of Your Life,” has an interesting perspective on focus. He says that when you’re playing a point, you need to have laser focus. Pretend that your eyes are a camera lens and you are zoomed in. But after the point, have the lens go to wide-angle and relax. Take in nature, have gratitude.
I really like this technique because most people think you have to focus all the time. This isn’t true…or possible. Focus and then relax. I have parents tell me that their child has no focus and that they’re looking at the other courts during a tournament. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that if they can re-gain their focus for the next point.
You can use this at work or school too. My friend and mentor, the great Dr. Rob Gilbert, Professor of Sports Psychology at Montclair State University and author of “How to Have Fun without Failing Out” talks about the 15-minute rule. If you’re doing work (business or school), go all-out for fifteen minutes and then take a quick break. Then get back to work. Keep alternating between your work and breaks. This will keep you fresh and focused.
Thanks for reading.
For all you athletes out there, don’t miss my workshop with internationally known yoga master, Naime Jezzeny at Yogaphoria in New Hope, PA on October 4th from 10am-11am. The free session will focus on the mental side of sports and the power of yoga to improve focus, gain strength and prevent injuries.
“You either win or you learn.”
-author unknown
Well, last night I lost. And I learned.
My doubles partner, Dan, and I had an early exit at this year’s Cryan Tennis Tournament.
Should we have won? I think so.
Did we deserve to win? Probably not.
The Cryan tournament is like a mini-US Open – some great players, many of whom play almost daily.
Dan and I hit once before the tournament.
Were we prepared? Not really.
You get what you focus on, and I have been focusing on my business, speaking engagements and book promotion. I would rather help others than feel good with individual tournament results.
I don’t need to try and qualify for the US Open this year, but perhaps one of my students will one day, or at least win the US Open in their own lives/careers. But guess what? I will be in the US Open this year – promoting my book and doing a book signing on September 1. I have already gotten great feedback about my book from people all over the world. That, to me is, is worth so much more than if I were in the US Open, or even still in the Cryan.
Am I happy we lost?
Of course not, but I’m over it. But you can be sure that Dan and I will be better prepared for next year.
Our result was in direct proportion to the work we put in prior to the tournament.
But guess what? Dan’s business is thriving and I’m happy with how things are going with me. No regrets here.
Are you focusing on the things you want most?
Thanks for reading.
And congrats to Tina Romero – after reading yesterday’s blog message, she was able to run eight straight miles when previously, she couldn’t even run three!!! You gotta believe!
FOCUS – Follow One Course Until Successful
We all need focus in whatever we do.
Today’s message is about focus.
But first I would like to tell you about the amazing green tea I am drinking – it has many health benefits, including preventing many diseases and reducing allergies. It also is a natural breath freshener.
Also, I was just introduced to these great relaxation CDs by Steven Halpern. One of them has great techniques for relaxation and stress reduction.
I feel that today is going to be a great day.
I’m hungry.
Should I go for a run before I eat?
Oh, I forgot to get broccoli yesterday at the grocery store!
Anyway, so what was I talking about?
I can’t remember.
Oh well, see you tomorrow.
I just lost focus, and I see it happen all the time, on the field, in the classroom, and at work…don’t let it happen to you.
Thanks for reading.
“Just like your physical skills, your mental skills are something you need to practice and work on consistently.”
-ED TSENG
I have a feeling that someone reading this blog entry has been distracted by external forces in their sport, in their job, or in school. You may be affected by the weather, your opponent, the spectators, or co-workers. There will always be distractions, but there are ways to overcome them. I want you to get comfortable being uncomfortable. Below is an exercise you can do. I like to call it trashketball.
Take 20 pieces of used paper, or old newspaper, and crumple them up into balls. Get a trashcan.
Exercise #1 Casually toss a few of the balls, towards the trashcan. Did you make any?
Exercise #2 Now, focus on the center of the trashcan and take some shots. See if your results and focus changed.
Exercise #3 Finally, take some shots, focus on the center of the trashcan again, but this time, have someone stand behind you and try to distract you with random sounds or pokes in the ribs.
You will notice how Exercise #3 is difficult and affects your focus and concentration, but if you perform this exercise several times, you will start to become more comfortable with this uncomfortable situation. I like to call this mental cross-training. If you can perform under this type of pressure playing trashketball, you can overcome any other external distractions or pressures.
Instead of running away from pressure, embrace it.
Leave me any comments…
Thanks for reading.