MESSAGE #1281 AN EXERCISE

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Do you remember a time when you performed REALLY well?

Perhaps you were playing tennis and you could not miss, or you were working and had unbelievable focus, or you were performing a violin recital and nailed it.

Here’s your assignment:

Go back in time to when you were performing at your peak. Write down:

1. Where you were
2. What you were feeling
3. What you were thinking
4. Smells
5. Sounds
6. What your body language was

After doing this exercise, you now have a model of success. Go to this model when things aren’t going so well. Read it and re-create it.

Better yet, create a voice memo on your phone and listen to it whenever you are in a slump.

Slumps are part of life, you can’t control that.

The only thing you can control is HOW YOU REACT TO THEM.

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MESSAGE #1279 WHAT DIRECTION ARE YOU HEADED?

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“The distance one goes is not as important as the direction.”
-author unknown

How hard you work does not matter if you are doing the wrong things.

How are you practicing?

How are you studying?

How are you working?

There is a big difference between movement and progress.

If you know where you want to go, just keep doing the things that will help you get there.

Buddha said:

“If we are heading in the right direction, all we must do is keep walking.”

MESSAGE #1265 DO THIS TODAY, WIN TOMORROW

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Thunder is good, thunder is impressive, but it is the lightning that does the work.
-MARK TWAIN

You might be able to talk the talk, but can you walk the talk?

Some people love to say that they are talented or skilled, but that doesn’t impress me.

Talk is cheap.

Here’s what I care about…

1. How hard are you working?

2. What actions are you taking to help you attain your goals?

3. Are you making the necessary adjustments if your current plan is not working?

I don’t care if you SAY you are going to start working out, or quit smoking or start practicing more.

I only care about what actions you are taking.

You get results by action, not by words.

So impress me, I dare you.

MESSAGE #1262 A MESSAGE FROM MARK

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The only pressure I’m under is the pressure I’ve put on myself.
-MARK MESSIER, hockey great

Recently, there was a football kicker training at my sports center. He is only 13 but has “phenom” written all over him. He has been working hard, doing all the right things and developing quite nicely.

This past week he was training for a pro event, which is a very big deal and only a few days away.

Then something happened.

He started missing kicks he was making easily the weeks prior. He started looking and feeling nervous. He was not the same person.

What changed?

Nothing physically, but mentally he started over-thinking. He was focusing on how important this upcoming pro event is. He started trying too hard. The little negative voice inside his head began getting louder and louder.

This happens all the time in sports and life.

When the pressure’s on, many people fold.

But it is not pressure, it is perception.

There are two ways to look at pressure–you can either get frustrated or fascinated by it.

The choice is yours.

What would be my advice to this young kicker?

1. Understand that nerves are normal. Everyone gets nervous.

2. Take a deep breath to lower your heart rate and stay in the present moment.

3. Focus on the target, not the outcome.

4. Act as if it were impossible to fail.

5. Cultivate gratitude and have fun!

For a free 10-minute mental toughness consultation, email: or call 609.558.1077

MESSAGE #1260 THE WORLD’S SHORTEST SAD STORY

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Once upon a time a young boy said to his family, “I want to do great things in this world; I know I can.”

Then, an old man said to his family, “I wish I had done great things in this world; I wish I did.”

End of story.

Why is this story so sad?

Because the young boy and the old man were the same person.

At the end of your life, do you want to say, “I wish I had” or “I’m glad I did”?

I think we all know the answer.

You can also apply this mindset to each and every day. Each and every practice. Each and every game.

At the end of the day, or at the end of the game, take the mental toughness test.

You pass the test if you say:

“I’m glad I did.”

MESSAGE #1259 HOW TO SUSTAIN MOTIVATION

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Today’s message is especially dedicated to Nate Kunnen and Dan Beedle in Michigan.

How soon ‘not now’ becomes ‘never’.
-MARTIN LUTHER, German priest

By request, I was asked to blog about how to sustain motivation and how to persist and have inner strength. Two separate requests which are actually related.

It’s that time of year where people are looking to become more fit, get better grades, be a better romantic partner or save more money. I don’t know if I am a fan of New Year’s Resolutions, but I do know that most people don’t stick with them.

Do you want to be like most people?

Today, one of my students told me that in school they were making New Year’s Resolutions. The teacher said that most people don’t stick with their resolutions, so this year they were going to make resolutions they definitely couldn’t break, like:

1. Ice skate with the Queen of England.
2. Eat a live frog.
3. Date a Sports Illustrated model.

When I heard this assignment, I said to myself, “NO! This teacher doesn’t get it.”

It’s not about just keeping your resolution, is it?

To me, resolutions are made to better yourself, to kick-start a new you. And to lead by example so that everyone around you wants to become better as well.

It’s January 3rd…Everyone is motivated right now. But by the last week of January, most resolutions will be broken.

So how do you sustain motivation?

How do you persist and gain inner strength?

1. Understand that motivation is not a feeling, it is an ACTION. Do what you need to do, when you need to do it, whether you feel like it or not.

2. Understand that you already have inner strength, but you have to make your goals important enough. Think of it this way, if someone knew that if they smoked a cigarette today, they would get lung cancer tomorrow, would they still do it? Of course not. So we have the will-power, we just have to exercise it.

3. Use my 15-minute rule when you don’t “feel” like persisting. Whatever it is you have to do (work out, study, make calls, clean the house), just do it for 15 minutes and then you can stop. But you won’t. Once you start you get into it and you will keep going. But most people don’t even begin.

I planned on going to the gym tonight after work at 9pm, but I didn’t feel like it.

I did it anyway.

Why?

Because anyone can do something when they feel like it. I like doing things when I DON’T feel like it.

So tonight, I not only worked out my body, I worked out my mind.

You can too.

Final words:
Don’t quit, can’t fail.

MESSAGE #1257 HOW TO KEEP YOUR NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS

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Nothing changes on New Year’s Day.
-BONO, rock star

Does anything really change on New Year’s Day?

I suppose change is possible, but is it lasting change?

Doing something once is not impressive.

Doing something consistently is impressive.

Don’t make resolutions, set goals and make lifestyle changes.

I’ve working out in gyms for most of my life and it amazes me how so many people start the new year off with amazing INTENTIONS by joining a gym and deciding to work out like they never worked out before, but don’t stick with it.

Their good intentions usually last only a few weeks.

By the end of January, those “motivated” people fall by the wayside.

Why does this phenomenon occur?

Because most people don’t know how to set goals.

Here’s what most people are doing wrong:

1. They don’t set specific goals; they said “I want to get in shape” versus “I am going to lose 10 pounds by March 1, 2011 at 8am.”

2. They let their goals too low. Michelangelo said, “It’s not that we set our sights too high and we don’t reach them; it’s that we set our sights too low and we DO reach them.” Set your sights high!

3. They think they can do it on their own. Get a trainer. Get coach. Get an accountability partner. Tell everyone about your goals. THEN you will be more likely to stick with it.

4. They don’t make their goals important enough. If something is important enough, you will stick with it.

5. They try their best, instead of DOING WHATEVER IT TAKES. There will be days you don’t “feel like” sticking to your goals. But those are the days you HAVE TO. Winners and losers feel the same feelings, but winners take the right action.

What are YOUR New Year’s Goals?

Leave your comments below.

Want a jump-start to a new you? Email to schedule a free 10-minute mental toughness consultation, or to request information on one-on-one mental toughness coaching via telephone/skype.

MESSAGE #1242 FOCUS

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We choose what we focus on.

Suppose you are winning a tennis match by a score of 5-0, and your opponent then wins the next three games. You start to think that the momentum has switched and that the person on the other side of the net has a chance to win.

STOP!

This type of thinking is normal, however, many people end up losing that set by focusing on the possible loss instead of focusing on HOW they can close it out.

The key is acknowledging that negative little voice inside your head and then moving on. Focusing on the next point. Your strategy. Your footwork.

Is this easier said than done?

Yes and no. Simple…yes. Easy…no. Mental training is just like physical training. You have to work at it.

Here’s an example of how you can shift your focus at any time.

Look around you and find three things that are blue.

Now quickly close your eyes and find something green.

Isn’t it hard to do?

Why?

Because it’s hard to focus on two things at the same time.

You can’t get green when focusing on blue.

You can’t get a win from focusing on a loss.

MESSAGE #1240 WINNING MINDSET

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Practice like you are the worst player.

Compete like you are the best player.

Work hard in practice.

Stay loose in competition.

MESSAGE #1236 I REALLY LIKE THIS QUOTE…

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“Winning means you’re willing to go longer, work harder, and give more than anyone else.”
– VINCE LOMBARDI

I really like this quote from the great Vince Lombardi.

And does it really stop at sports?

Of course not.

If you have a job (or even a job interview), the best thing you can do is go longer, work harder and give more than anyone else.

Do you have to be gifted to do this?

Of course not.