I want to be remembered as the guy who gave his all whenever he was on the field.
-WALTER PAYTON, football player
Can you have the same attitude as Walter Payton in what you do?
Sports, sales or school?
Of course you can.
But the real question is, WILL YOU?
My friend, Dr. Rob Gilbert is a sport psychologist who once asked the great boxing trainer, Teddy Atlas how he taught boxers how to overcome fear. Atlas said that boxing is like war. There are two types of soldiers: heros and the cowards. The difference between them is not fear itself, but how each deal with the fear.
The hero feels the fear and moves towards it.
The coward feels the fear and moves away from it.
The key is doing what you need to do, when you need to do it, whether you feel like it or not.
The more you move towards your fear, the more comfortable you will be with it.
Fear has no control over you, unless you let it.
Zeke Bonura was a first baseman in the major leagues. He had one of the top fielding percentages in pro baseball during his playing days.
The reason why Bonura’s average was so good was because he didn’t go for anything he thought he might miss.
In fact, he was known for giving the ball the “Mussolini Wave” with his glove as he let it go by. Eventually, Bonura got traded.
Zeke Bonura didn’t go all-out.
Is that what you want to be known for?
Someone who didn’t make mistakes?
The most successful people in the world made the most mistakes.
Why would you want to train yourself to hold back?
As you go through your day today, remember what Zeke Bonura did…
And do the opposite.
Thunder is good, thunder is impressive, but it is the lightning that does the work.
-MARK TWAIN
You might be able to talk the talk, but can you walk the talk?
Some people love to say that they are talented or skilled, but that doesn’t impress me.
Talk is cheap.
Here’s what I care about…
1. How hard are you working?
2. What actions are you taking to help you attain your goals?
3. Are you making the necessary adjustments if your current plan is not working?
I don’t care if you SAY you are going to start working out, or quit smoking or start practicing more.
I only care about what actions you are taking.
You get results by action, not by words.
So impress me, I dare you.
The only pressure I’m under is the pressure I’ve put on myself.
-MARK MESSIER, hockey great
Recently, there was a football kicker training at my sports center. He is only 13 but has “phenom” written all over him. He has been working hard, doing all the right things and developing quite nicely.
This past week he was training for a pro event, which is a very big deal and only a few days away.
Then something happened.
He started missing kicks he was making easily the weeks prior. He started looking and feeling nervous. He was not the same person.
What changed?
Nothing physically, but mentally he started over-thinking. He was focusing on how important this upcoming pro event is. He started trying too hard. The little negative voice inside his head began getting louder and louder.
This happens all the time in sports and life.
When the pressure’s on, many people fold.
But it is not pressure, it is perception.
There are two ways to look at pressure–you can either get frustrated or fascinated by it.
The choice is yours.
What would be my advice to this young kicker?
1. Understand that nerves are normal. Everyone gets nervous.
2. Take a deep breath to lower your heart rate and stay in the present moment.
3. Focus on the target, not the outcome.
4. Act as if it were impossible to fail.
5. Cultivate gratitude and have fun!
For a free 10-minute mental toughness consultation, email: or call 609.558.1077
Once upon a time a young boy said to his family, “I want to do great things in this world; I know I can.”
Then, an old man said to his family, “I wish I had done great things in this world; I wish I did.”
End of story.
Why is this story so sad?
Because the young boy and the old man were the same person.
At the end of your life, do you want to say, “I wish I had” or “I’m glad I did”?
I think we all know the answer.
You can also apply this mindset to each and every day. Each and every practice. Each and every game.
At the end of the day, or at the end of the game, take the mental toughness test.
You pass the test if you say:
“I’m glad I did.”
Today’s message is especially dedicated to Nate Kunnen and Dan Beedle in Michigan.
How soon ‘not now’ becomes ‘never’.
-MARTIN LUTHER, German priest
By request, I was asked to blog about how to sustain motivation and how to persist and have inner strength. Two separate requests which are actually related.
It’s that time of year where people are looking to become more fit, get better grades, be a better romantic partner or save more money. I don’t know if I am a fan of New Year’s Resolutions, but I do know that most people don’t stick with them.
Do you want to be like most people?
Today, one of my students told me that in school they were making New Year’s Resolutions. The teacher said that most people don’t stick with their resolutions, so this year they were going to make resolutions they definitely couldn’t break, like:
1. Ice skate with the Queen of England.
2. Eat a live frog.
3. Date a Sports Illustrated model.
When I heard this assignment, I said to myself, “NO! This teacher doesn’t get it.”
It’s not about just keeping your resolution, is it?
To me, resolutions are made to better yourself, to kick-start a new you. And to lead by example so that everyone around you wants to become better as well.
It’s January 3rd…Everyone is motivated right now. But by the last week of January, most resolutions will be broken.
So how do you sustain motivation?
How do you persist and gain inner strength?
1. Understand that motivation is not a feeling, it is an ACTION. Do what you need to do, when you need to do it, whether you feel like it or not.
2. Understand that you already have inner strength, but you have to make your goals important enough. Think of it this way, if someone knew that if they smoked a cigarette today, they would get lung cancer tomorrow, would they still do it? Of course not. So we have the will-power, we just have to exercise it.
3. Use my 15-minute rule when you don’t “feel” like persisting. Whatever it is you have to do (work out, study, make calls, clean the house), just do it for 15 minutes and then you can stop. But you won’t. Once you start you get into it and you will keep going. But most people don’t even begin.
I planned on going to the gym tonight after work at 9pm, but I didn’t feel like it.
I did it anyway.
Why?
Because anyone can do something when they feel like it. I like doing things when I DON’T feel like it.
So tonight, I not only worked out my body, I worked out my mind.
You can too.
Final words:
Don’t quit, can’t fail.
Nothing changes on New Year’s Day.
-BONO, rock star
Does anything really change on New Year’s Day?
I suppose change is possible, but is it lasting change?
Doing something once is not impressive.
Doing something consistently is impressive.
Don’t make resolutions, set goals and make lifestyle changes.
I’ve working out in gyms for most of my life and it amazes me how so many people start the new year off with amazing INTENTIONS by joining a gym and deciding to work out like they never worked out before, but don’t stick with it.
Their good intentions usually last only a few weeks.
By the end of January, those “motivated” people fall by the wayside.
Why does this phenomenon occur?
Because most people don’t know how to set goals.
Here’s what most people are doing wrong:
1. They don’t set specific goals; they said “I want to get in shape” versus “I am going to lose 10 pounds by March 1, 2011 at 8am.”
2. They let their goals too low. Michelangelo said, “It’s not that we set our sights too high and we don’t reach them; it’s that we set our sights too low and we DO reach them.” Set your sights high!
3. They think they can do it on their own. Get a trainer. Get coach. Get an accountability partner. Tell everyone about your goals. THEN you will be more likely to stick with it.
4. They don’t make their goals important enough. If something is important enough, you will stick with it.
5. They try their best, instead of DOING WHATEVER IT TAKES. There will be days you don’t “feel like” sticking to your goals. But those are the days you HAVE TO. Winners and losers feel the same feelings, but winners take the right action.
What are YOUR New Year’s Goals?
Leave your comments below.
Want a jump-start to a new you? Email to schedule a free 10-minute mental toughness consultation, or to request information on one-on-one mental toughness coaching via telephone/skype.
1. Act as if it were impossible to fail.
2. Do what needs to be done, whether you feel like it or not.
3. Set goals and do whatever it takes to attain them.
4. Develop a growth mindset.
5. Cultivate gratitude for all that you have in your life.
6. Be a team player.
7. Focus on one thing at a time.
8. Procrastinate procrastination.
9. Make the important thing, the important thing.
10. Go all-out!
Today’s message is especially dedicated to the great Nancy Johanson in Phoenix, Arizona.
“Magic is pretty simple: It’s practice, it’s training and it’s experimenting while pushing through the pain to be the best I can be.”
-DAVID BLAINE
Magic is not unlike sports, or life, for that matter.
David Blaine was not “born” to be a magician. He was “trained” to be one. As a young boy, Blaine was intrigued by Houdini. Magic became his passion. Then he got to work. He began training.
Blaine took the time to practice, he trained, he experimented and pushed through the pain.
Whether you’re a tennis player, chef, or business owner, you need to do the same.
Last night I spoke with my good friend Bob Ryland, who was the first black professional tennis player. He was also Arthur Ashe’s hero and coached the Williams sisters. Bob told me that the first time he saw the Williams sisters, he didn’t think they were talented.
But guess what?
They worked hard.
Harder than anybody.
And they got results.
And you can do the same.