MESSAGE #1004 WING IT

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So today I went into the city to spend some time with my friend, the great Bob Ryland, the first black professional tennis player and Arthur Ashe’s hero. We had a great lunch with tennis pro Fred Weiland and then Bob and I walked over to the Central Park Tennis Courts and talked to some people, including Caroline, who runs the courts, about Bob and me giving a talk there.

On my way up to the city, I got a message on Facebook from Ben Sturner, CEO of Leverage Agency, one of the top sports and entertainment agencies in the world. Ben invited me to his gorgeous office, filled with sports memorabilia on Fifth Ave. My schedule allowed, so I stopped by.

Ben and I were sitting in his office talking about when I could talk to his team about goal-setting. And then he said, how about today?

“Let’s do it,” I said.

I didn’t have anything prepared, but I have spent my whole career preparing.

As a speaker, the last thing I want to do is rely on my notes. My goal is to speak from the heart and as a result, I know the material better and can give impromptu talks like today in New York City.

How can this help you?

1. Know your stuff.
2. Be brave (and flexible) enough to perform in a moments notice.
3. Give it your all, whether you feel like it or not.
4. Never turn down an opportunity to share your knowledge and improve your craft.
5. Help others.

Thanks for reading.

MESSAGE #1003 MIND GAMES

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“After each of us got a drink, I made my way to the baseline. Panic started to expand inside me like poison gas. My legs felt wobbly and my breathing grew rapid. This was too big of an occasion to blow it because of prematch jitters.”
(“I Against I” by James Martin, Tennis Magazine, May 2010)

Does this scenario sound familiar?

These feelings started BEFORE the match even began, but it happens all the time.

These feelings are normal.

I get nervous before every talk I give, but I know that I do not have to act how I feel. I act confident and energetic and then something amazing happens, I start FEELING confident and energetic. Most people act how they feel and then they get results that they don’t like. It doesn’t have to be that way. It’s a choice. When the catcher in baseball gives the pitcher a sign for a fastball, curveball, changeup, etc, the pitcher has the choice to “shake the catcher off” and choose a different sign or pitch. You don’t have to live in your negative feelings. Accept them, and then act how you want to feel.

You can use this principle in any area of life.

And you can start today.

MESSAGE #1002 CREATIVITY

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Today’s message is especially dedicated to the great Jonathan Star.

 

Are you reacting to life, or are you CREATING what you want?

If you’re like most people, you are reacting to what life brings.

On the tennis court, most players react to the last point, good or bad.

After we lose a point, we generally have a negative response. After we win a point, we generally have a positive response.

The secret however, is to CREATE a winning point and feeling, BEFORE the point begins.

I just finished reading the manuscript of one of the best books I have read recently, “GAME ‘ON’: THE FLOW, THE ZONE & THE STATE OF ‘ON,’ IN SPORTS AND LIFE” by Jonathan Star.

In his book, Star talks about this idea of creating what you want instead of reacting to the last one.

Star says that if you lose a point, you should let it go immediately and if you win a point, you should stay with that winning feeling until right before the next point begins.

“In my own view of things, being ‘in the zone’ refers to a state where everything is going right, where you are making your shots, where there is a certain ease and flow to your game. The state of ‘on’ – or what we may call ‘full on,’ since there are different levels in this state – is not so much a feeling that everything is going right, but the feeling that you can do no wrong. It is an elevation of the zone – you’re not in the zone, you’re not going with the flow, you’re creating it. You are not ‘in’ the state, you are the state. But you come to feel this way when you allow a higher dimension of your self to enter the game and bring it to a whole new level.”

Are you creating, or are you reacting?

Stay tuned for more on the state of “on.”

MESSAGE #1001 HOW TO WIN MORE

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Today’s message is especially dedicated to the boys tennis team at Bolsa Grande High School in California.

 

Many players and teams go into a match thinking, “that team is really good; we have no chance of winning.”

The problem with this mindset is that it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Henry Ford once said, “Whether you think you can or think you can’t, either way, you’re right.”

The best team doesn’t win.

The team that plays best wins.

The Davids beat the Goliaths all the time.

The fastest horse does not always win the race.

If you go all-out, you’re a winner. If you hold back, you’re not.

Any questions?

MESSAGE #999 LEADERSHIP (and failure)

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Today I’m going back to where I failed out twice, Rider University, while studying computers.

No, I’m not going back to get my degree (I have a degree from Ferris State University’s Marketing/Professional Tennis Management program).

I’m going back to Rider to be the opening speaker for their Team Leadership Challenge. This is my second time speaking at this great event and this year’s theme is  “Navigating Your Way to Success.”

That’s funny to me.

When I started college it was as if I needed a map, but after failing out twice, I CHOSE to follow my passion (sports) and transferred to Ferris State. My grades skyrocketed. I graduated in 1997 and was named Pro of the Year for the USTA in 2005. After that, I started my own business, wrote a book and became a motivational speaker.

So what is leadership?

I think a big part of leadership is being brave enough to follow your passion. It’s about helping others. Leaders do things because it is the right thing to do, regardless of what others may think. That’s when people will follow. But it’s not about having followers…

The function of leadership is to produce more leaders, not more followers. -RALPH NADER

If you look at all of the great leaders in history, they all made everyone else better, whether it is Michael Jordan, Oprah Winfrey, Martin Luther King or Henry Ford. Focusing on yourself is weak. Focusing on others is powerful.

So today I hope to motivate, energize, and inspire the students at Rider, but more importantly, I hope to produce more leaders.

MESSAGE #998 THE TAO

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From the Tao Te Ching (written around 500 B.C.)…

A great misfortune comes about
With the feeling, ‘I have an enemy’
For when ‘I’ and ‘enemy’ exist together
There is no room left for my treasure

Thus, when two opponents meet
The one who does not see an enemy
Will surely triumph (69)

MESSAGE #996 FEAR

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Today’s message is especially dedicated to Justin Cohen and Kristen Carlin. Happy Birthday to two peak performers.

FEAR – False Experiences Appearing Real

Have you ever feared an opponent before you even started playing?

Why would you do that?

Once we perceive our opponent as a “threat” they own our power and our energy.

Let me put it this way…

Think back to a time when you were totally “on” your game. Did you notice that everything was “just” flowing? Did you notice that you were playing with loose focus and had very little self-talk?

We play best when we “just do it” and focus on our strategy, effort and energy (controllables).

Fear to some people is excitement to others. (Think of a roller coaster).

Supposedly, when Pete Sampras was at 5-5 in a set, a time when most people tighten up, he thought to himself, “Oh yea, this is what it’s all about.” He loved the pressure.

It may take ten years (or the rest of time) to get even close to Sampras, physically, but you can be just as good as him almost instantly by having the same mindset as him.

MESSAGE #994 OPPORTUNITY

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Every game is an opportunity to measure yourself against your own potential.
— Bud Wilkinson

 

MESSAGE #991 A PEAK PERFORMANCE PRINCIPLE: HOW TO CREATE GREATNESS

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Today’s message is especially dedicated to Manon Bollegraf in the Netherlands, Ash Kulkarni in New York City, Candice Carlin in Philadelphia and Kimberly Slater in Cherry Hill, NJ. Happy Birthday to you all!

 

Before you set foot onto the tennis court next time, ask yourself this question…

Am I going to let how I play determine my attitude, or am I going to let my attitude determine how I play?

Think about it – most people react to how they play, but the great ones CREATE how they want to play; it’s a choice.

Act as if it were impossible to fail.

 

For those of you going to the Caesars Tennis Classic in Atlantic City today, look for me in the press box. I will be taking photographs and shooting videos. Find me and you win a prize.

MESSAGE #990 MENTAL TOUGHNESS: BE COMFORTABLE BEING UNCOMFORTABLE

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Today’s message is especially dedicated to the great Diane Stevenson in the UK.

Life begins at the end of your comfort zone. -NEALE DONALD WALSCH

Admit it, you like to be comfortable. But if you’re comfortable, you’re not growing.

When I give mental toughness coaching sessions, I have people perform mental cross-training. For example, I had a college tennis player sing happy birthday to me at the top of his voice, in a crowded restaurant. He didn’t feel like it but did it anyway and felt great afterwards. And I do it in my own life, as well. Six hours after I solved my first Sudoku puzzle, I competed in the National Sudoku Championships (Beginner level).

The more you put yourself in uncomfortable situations, the more comfortable you will be when they arise.

Sports are mostly mental, but when was the last time you worked on that aspect of your game?

Homework: For the next week, do one thing each day that puts you out of your comfort zone.