MESSAGE #946 WALK LIKE A MATADOR

It’s easier to act yourself into a way of feeling than it is to feel yourself into a way of acting.

Dr. Jim Loehr once watched hundreds of hours of videotape of professional tennis matches and noticed a difference between the champions and everybody else. The difference wasn’t talent or skills, but what they did in the 15-20 seconds between points.

“Champions like Chris Evert…kept their heads high even when they’d lost a point, maintaining a confident posture that telegraphed no big deal. Loehr nicknamed this ‘the matador walk’ after a Spanish matador told him, ‘The most important lesson in courage is physical, not mental. From the age of 12, I was taught to walk in a way that produces courage.’

The tennis champions like Evert would next concentrate their gazes on their rackets or touch the strings with their fingers and stroll toward the back court–focusing, avoiding distraction, relaxing, and effectively letting the past go. After this mini-meditation, they’d turn back toward the net, bounce on their toes, and visualize playing the next point.” (Source: Psychotherapy Networker; “Living on Purpose” by Katy Butler)

What’s the point?

How you act is how you are going to feel.

Act how you want to feel and you will feel the way you act.

MESSAGE #944 TODAY IS THE ONLY DAY THAT MATTERS

If you would not be forgotten, as soon as you are dead and rotten,
either write things worth reading, or do things worth writing.
-BENJAMIN FRANKLIN

My only question to you is…

ARE YOU GOING ALL OUT?

If you’re a writer, write things that are worth reading. But if you’re not a writer, do things worth writing about.

I may not know you, but I know THIS about you…

 

1. You have unlimited potential.

2. All of the ability is already inside you (you just have to discover the strategy).

3. You can learn any skill, mental or physical.

4. You can’t win when you’re focused on winning.

5. You don’t have to be great at the start, but you need to start to be great.

 

So today is the only day that matters. Why?

Because you can only live one day at a time.

Make every day the most important day of your life.

Make every practice the most important practice of your life.

Make every competition the most important competition of your life.

If you do this, I’m sure you will be pleased with the results.

Go all out today!

MESSAGE #943 A MENTAL TOUGHNESS EXERCISE

It’s not what’s happening around you. It’s not what’s happening to you. What matters most is what’s happening inside you.

Today’s message is especially dedicated to the great Steven Nakagama Magee in Millburn, NJ.

EXERCISE:

Think back to a “good day” in your sport. Visualize what went on before, during and after that peak performance. Re-create those feelings and actions.

Now go back to a “bad day” that you had. Visualize what went on before, during and after that poor performance. Re-create those feelings and actions.

Compare the two.

The difference is always in your head.

So what does this mean?

It means you have to be mindful of your self-talk during practice and competition.

Instead of breaking yourself down, build yourself up.

MESSAGE #942 THE PSYCHOLOGY OF WINNING

Today’s message is especially dedicated to the great Lewis Howes.

Does your day determine your attitude or does your attitude determine your day?
-COACH DARREN VENTRE

Does how you play determine your attitude or does your attitude determine how you play?
-ED TSENG, author of “Game. Set. Life.” and Pro of the Year USTA 2005

True champions can do their best when they feel their worst. Anyone can perform well when they feel good.

But the great ones are able to perform well even when they don’t have their “A” game.

Will you act how you feel, or will you act like how you WANT to feel?

It’s your choice whether you act like a winner, or you act like a whiner.

If you practiced your sport today for ten hours, would you really wake up tomorrow morning a better athlete?

No.

But do you know how you CAN instantly become better?

By having a winning mindset and by having a winning attitude.

I taught a boy yesterday in a group lesson. He seemed low energy and I asked him if he was tired; he said yes. I told him that it was okay to feel tired, but he didn’t have to ACT tired. He smiled, and said, “Okay.”

He then proceeded to increase his energy and ended up playing great the rest of the lesson.

You don’t have to be a talented, gifted or a world champion to have a winning attitude. Anyone can do it, it’s a choice.

Who has the best attitude that you know?

MESSAGE #940 A GREAT OLYMPIC STORY

In 1938, Karoly Takacs of the Hungarian Army, was the top pistol shooter in the world. He was expected to win the gold in the 1940 Olympic Games scheduled for Tokyo.

Those expectations vanished one terrible day just months before the Olympics. While training with his army squad, a hand grenade exploded in Takacs’ right hand, and Takacs’ shooting hand was blown off.

Takacs spent a month in the hospital depressed at both the loss of his hand, and the end to his Olympic dream. At that point most people would have quit. And they would have probably spent the rest of their life feeling sorry for themselves. Most people would have quit but not Takacs. Takacs was a winner. Winners know that they can’t let circumstances keep them down. They understand that life is hard and that they can’t let life beat them down. Winners know in their heart that quitting is not an option.

Takacs did the unthinkable; he picked himself up, dusted himself off, and decided to learn how to shoot with his left hand! His reasoning was simple. He simply asked himself, “Why not?”

Instead of focusing on what he didn’t have – a world class right shooting hand, he decided to focus on what he did have – incredible mental toughness, and a healthy left hand that with time, could be developed to shoot like a champion.

For months Takacs practiced by himself. No one knew what he was doing. Maybe he didn’t want to subject himself to people who most certainly would have discouraged him from his rekindled dream.

In the spring of 1939 he showed up at the Hungarian National Pistol Shooting Championship. Other shooters approached Takacs to give him their condolences and to congratulate him on having the strength to come watch them shoot. They were surprised when he said, “I didn’t come to watch, I came to compete.” They were even more surprised when Takacs won!

The 1940 and 1944 Olympics were cancelled because of World War II. It looked like Takacs’ Olympic Dream would never have a chance to realize itself. But Takacs kept training and in 1944 he qualified for the London Olympics. At the age of 38, Takacs won the Gold Medal and set a new world record in pistol shooting. Four years later, Takacs won the Gold Medal again at the 1952 Helsinki Olympics. Takacs – a man with the mental toughness to bounce back from anything.

Winners in every field have a special trait that helps them become unstoppable. A special characteristic that allows them to survive major setbacks on the road to success. Winners recover QUICKLY. Bouncing back is not enough. Winners bounce back QUICKLY. They take their hit, they experience their setback, they have the wind taken out of their sails, but they immediately recover. Right away they FORCE themselves to look at the bright side of things – ANY bright side, and they say to themselves, “That’s OK. There is always a way. I will find a way.” They dust themselves off, and pick up where they left off.

The reason quick recovery is important is that if you recover quickly, you don’t lose your momentum and your drive. Takacs recovered in only one month. If he had wallowed in his misery, if he had stayed “under the circumstances,” if he had played the martyr, and felt sorry for himself much longer, he would have lost his mental edge – his “eye of the tiger” and he never would have been able to come back.

When a boxer gets knocked down, he has ten seconds to get back up. If he gets up in eleven seconds, he loses the fight. Remember that next time you get knocked down.

Takacs definitely had a right to feel sorry for himself. He had a right to stay depressed and to ask himself “Why me?” for the rest of his life. He had the right to act like a mediocre man.

Takacs could have let his terrible accident cause him to become permanently discouraged, to take up heavy drinking, to quit on life alltogether, and maybe even to end his own life. He could have acted like a loser.

But Takacs made the DECISION to dig deep inside and to find a solution. To pick himself up and to learn to shoot all over again. Winners always search for a solution. Losers always search for an escape.

Next time you get knocked down, DECIDE you will act like a winner. DECIDE to act like Takacs. Get up quickly, take action, and astound the world!

(By Ruben Gonzalez, three-time Olympian)

MESSAGE #932 WE’RE TALKIN’ BASEBALL…

Mike Sheppard, Jr talks about pressure at the Yogi Berra Museum and Learning Center

Today I was invited to attended a workshop for baseball coaches at the Yogi Berra Museum and Learning Center entitled, “How Top Baseball Coaches Build Successful Programs.

Why would I go listen to people talk about baseball? Because coaching is coaching. And the great coaches know that it’s not about sports, it’s about life.

The panelists were Fred Hill, Sr (Rutgers University), Mike Sheppard, Jr (Seton Hall Prep), and Ted Jarmusz (Monmouth Regional HS). The moderator was award-winning coach, John McCarthy, co-founder of the Yogi Berra Museum’s Coaching Institute.

Motivating and conditioning your athletes, Focusing on the big picture, Getting the most out of practice sessions, and Mentoring assistants were some of the topics. It’s amazing to me how all three legendary coaches talked very little about winning. They talked about effort and attitude. “You’re not going to succeed if you don’t put the time in,” said Coach Hill.

“Work ethic is the key…and passion,” added Sheppard, Jr.

Coach Jarmusz said, “Our philosophy is Pride and Hustle…that’s it. You don’t have to be a great athlete or talented to do those things.”

Hill believes that there should not be very many rules.

“My only rules are: 1) Be on time 2) Give 100% every day”

It’s amazing how I could be so motivated and learn so much from baseball coaches. The thing that I like most about myself is that I love learning; I love seeing how everything relates to everything else…sports, school, business, art.

We should play sports because we love to play.

We should coach because we love to coach. It’s not about the results, the trophy or the money.

Arthur Ashe said, “Success is a journey.”

Give it your all, enjoy the process and make a difference.

Moderator, John McCarthy put it best, with a quote by the great Lou Holtz…

“Do you want to be successful or do you want to be significant?”

MESSAGE #930 Cheaters Never Prosper…

Former baseball superstar, Mark Grace once said, “If you’re not cheating, you’re not trying.”

Really, Mark?

Character goes a long way in my book. I just lost all respect for Grace. Well, not all, there’s always the chance that he was misquoted.

But here’s the point – I would rather my players give it their all without cheating and lose, than cheat and win. If they make it, they make it. If not, they will go on to be successful in business, art, music or cooking.

Cheaters cheat because they want to win more than anything else.

What are you playing for, the trophy?

Here, I’ll give you one. Will you be happy? I doubt it.

Winners never cheat and cheaters never win.

Somewhere along the line, as a society, we started focusing on the result; focusing on ourselves.

Well, we headed down the wrong path.

The key is staying in the present moment – enjoying the process. Focusing on helping others and making a difference.

People say nice guys finish last, but I disagree.

Nice guys are winners before the competition begins.

MESSAGE #923 DO LESS, ACCOMPLISH MORE…

I have a new favorite author, Leo Babauta. I am currently reading his amazing book, The Power of Less: The Fine Art of Limiting Yourself to the Essential, in Business and in Life.”

Here are his thoughts on how to slow life down, from his website, ZenHabits.

  1. Do less. Cut back on your projects, on your task list, on how much you try to do each day. Focus not on quantity but quality. Pick 2-3 important things — or even just one important thing — and work on those first. Save smaller, routine tasks for later in the day, but give yourself time to focus.
  2. Have fewer meetings. Meetings are usually a big waste of time. And they eat into your day, forcing you to squeeze the things you really need to do into small windows, and making you rush. Try to have blocks of time with no interruptions, so you don’t have to rush from one meeting to another.
  3. Practice disconnecting. Have times when you turn off your devices and your email notifications and whatnot. Time with no phone calls, when you’re just creating, or when you’re just spending time with someone, or just reading a book, or just taking a walk, or just eating mindfully. You can even disconnect for (gasp!) an entire day, and you won’t be hurt. I promise.
  4. Give yourself time to get ready and get there. If you’re constantly rushing to appointments or other places you have to be, it’s because you don’t allot enough time in your schedule for preparing and for traveling. Pad your schedule to allow time for this stuff. If you think it only takes you 10 minutes to get ready for work or a date, perhaps give yourself 30-45 minutes so you don’t have to shave in a rush or put on makeup in the car. If you think you can get there in 10 minutes, perhaps give yourself 2-3 times that amount so you can go at a leisurely pace and maybe even get there early.
  5. Practice being comfortable with sitting, doing nothing. One thing I’ve noticed is that when people have to wait, they become impatient or uncomfortable. They want their mobile device or at least a magazine, because standing and waiting is either a waste of time or something they’re not used to doing without feeling self-conscious. Instead, try just sitting there, looking around, soaking in your surroundings. Try standing in line and just watching and listening to people around you. It takes practice, but after awhile, you’ll do it with a smile.
  6. Realize that if it doesn’t get done, that’s OK. There’s always tomorrow. And yes, I know that’s a frustrating attitude for some of you who don’t like laziness or procrastination or living without firm deadlines, but it’s also reality. The world likely won’t end if you don’t get that task done today. Your boss might get mad, but the company won’t collapse and the life will inevitably go on. And the things that need to get done will.
  7. Start to eliminate the unnecessary. When you do the important things with focus, without rush, there will be things that get pushed back, that don’t get done. And you need to ask yourself: how necessary are these things? What would happen if I stopped doing them? How can I eliminate them, delegate them, automate them?
  8. Practice mindfulness. Simply learn to live in the present, rather than thinking so much about the future or the past. When you eat, fully appreciate your food. When you’re with someone, be with them fully. When you’re walking, appreciate your surroundings, no matter where you are.
  9. Slowly eliminate commitments. We’re overcommitted, which is why we’re rushing around so much. I don’t just mean with work — projects and meetings and the like. Parents have tons of things to do with and for their kids, and we overcommit our kids as well. Many of us have busy social lives, or civic commitments, or are coaching or playing on sports teams. We have classes and groups and hobbies. But in trying to cram so much into our lives, we’re actually deteriorating the quality of those lives. Slowly eliminate commitments — pick 4-5 essential ones, and realize that the rest, while nice or important, just don’t fit right now. Politely inform people, over time, that you don’t have time to stick to those commitments.

We control our destiny (for the most part), so be sure to make good decisions today. And do less.

Thanks for reading.

MESSAGE #921 PRACTICE DOES NOT MAKE PERFECT


In this video blog, Ed Tseng talks about how to practice perfect, and shares tips for athletes who are trying out for their school teams in a few weeks. https://www.edtseng.com