MESSAGE #1013 ANGER

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Today’s message is especially dedicated to all the players out there who have anger management issues.

I once had a student who would often get angry at himself after losing a point. And by once, I mean, I “often” have students who get angry and negative during competition.

Negativity and anger are common challenges for competitive players, but here’s the good news…

This can be overcome with training (just like fixing your backhand).

What do you say to yourself after you lose a point?

“I can’t believe you missed that shot!”

“You stink!”

“What’s wrong with you?!?”

Let’s analyze this voice for a second…

Does this “inner coach” help you perform better?

Of course not. What if a real coach spoke like this to their player? Wouldn’t you find a new coach?

If this is an issue for you, you need to find a new “inner coach.”

This inner coach should say something like…

“No problem. How can I make an adjustment? Good, now let’s focus on the next point.”

“That point is in the past, let’s focus on the next one.”

“You’re still in control. Let’s go!”

What you say to yourself between points will determine how you play and what kind of results you get.

How do YOU want to play and what kind of results do YOU want to get?

Remember this secret formula: S + A = R (Situation plus Attitude equals Result).

MESSAGE #1011 HANGING OUT WITH A CHAMPION

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One thing that I have learned here in Orlando talking to some great coaches and mental toughness experts is this…

Champions are not normal.

They don’t have normal brains.

Lorenzo Beltrame shared a story about when he beat Pete Sampras twice on clay during a training session. He didn’t know how to console “Pistol” but before he could think of something, Pete said “This is great! I feel like I’m playing well and ready!”

That is not normal.

And last night I spent some time with Mark Dickson, former World #32, who has beaten Lendl and was even Agassi’s doubles partner. He was telling me about the days leading up to his match with Lendl, then #1 in the world. He visualized his strategy every day and EXPECTED to beat him. In his mind, he thought, “I can’t believe I’m going to beat the World #1.” And then he did in 45 minutes. I asked Dickson if he ever went into a match thinking he didn’t have a chance. He said “No.” And when he did lose, he thought, “What a great learning experience!”

That is not normal!

Well today I will be wrapping up a great 2.5 days at the Human Performance Institute and heading back home. Next stop, Philadelphia!

Have a great day everyone!

Homework: Don’t be normal today.

MESSAGE #1008 WHAT I LIKE ABOUT MYSELF…

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One of the things I like about myself is that I have a growth mindset – I LOVE learning. I love what I do so much that I don’t want to go to bed at night and I can’t wait to get up in the morning.

Well in a few hours I will be hopping a flight from Philadelphia International Airport to Orlando, Florida to attend a mental toughness certification program for 2.5 days. The goal is to learn more about my craft. People say that I have become successful, but I don’t look at it that way;  I will never say that “I’ve made it,” or “I know it all.”

I will never know it all. The sky’s the limit.

Carol Dweck, author of one of my favorite books, “MINDSET: The New Psychology of Success” and professor at Stanford University talks about fixed and growth mindsets.

“I think enjoyment is key.  You have to have a passion for what you do.  It’s not about your parents pushing you or your coach threatening you.  It’s about you just wanting to be better and loving every minute of it.  Not every minute, but most of it.”

I learn from everyone I can, from experts like Dweck, strangers, children…ANYONE.

I use all the brains I have and all that I can borrow. – WINSTON CHURCHILL

Next blog entry from sunny Florida…

MESSAGE #1007 LET IT FLOW

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Have you ever been in the zone?

Didn’t the tennis ball look like a beach ball?

EXERCISE

Part One: Look around you and find a nearby object, like a pen or piece of paper. Now slowly reach for it tightening every muscle in your body. Move as slow as you can. Now slowly bring it to your chest and slowly place it down back where you found it.

Part Two: Now reach for the same object normally and bring it to your chest and back.

Didn’t it feel effortless the second time? When you’re in the zone (or as I like to say, “the state of ‘ON'”) you are just flowing; you are just doing.

When we think too much, especially about negative things, we mentally tighten up just like when you were physically reaching for that object a moment ago.

When you mentally tighten up, your mind is not clear and therefore your body won’t function at peak performance.

Your effort should be ALL-OUT…

But your attitude should be A LITTLE RELAXED.

Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water my friend. -BRUCE LEE

MESSAGE #1006 WHAT WINNERS DO WHEN THEY LOSE…

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I never prayed that I would make a putt. I prayed that I would react well if I missed. -CHI CHI RODRIGUEZ, golfer

How do you react when you miss a shot, or lose a match?

MESSAGE #1002 CREATIVITY

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Today’s message is especially dedicated to the great Jonathan Star.

 

Are you reacting to life, or are you CREATING what you want?

If you’re like most people, you are reacting to what life brings.

On the tennis court, most players react to the last point, good or bad.

After we lose a point, we generally have a negative response. After we win a point, we generally have a positive response.

The secret however, is to CREATE a winning point and feeling, BEFORE the point begins.

I just finished reading the manuscript of one of the best books I have read recently, “GAME ‘ON’: THE FLOW, THE ZONE & THE STATE OF ‘ON,’ IN SPORTS AND LIFE” by Jonathan Star.

In his book, Star talks about this idea of creating what you want instead of reacting to the last one.

Star says that if you lose a point, you should let it go immediately and if you win a point, you should stay with that winning feeling until right before the next point begins.

“In my own view of things, being ‘in the zone’ refers to a state where everything is going right, where you are making your shots, where there is a certain ease and flow to your game. The state of ‘on’ – or what we may call ‘full on,’ since there are different levels in this state – is not so much a feeling that everything is going right, but the feeling that you can do no wrong. It is an elevation of the zone – you’re not in the zone, you’re not going with the flow, you’re creating it. You are not ‘in’ the state, you are the state. But you come to feel this way when you allow a higher dimension of your self to enter the game and bring it to a whole new level.”

Are you creating, or are you reacting?

Stay tuned for more on the state of “on.”

MESSAGE #1001 HOW TO WIN MORE

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Today’s message is especially dedicated to the boys tennis team at Bolsa Grande High School in California.

 

Many players and teams go into a match thinking, “that team is really good; we have no chance of winning.”

The problem with this mindset is that it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Henry Ford once said, “Whether you think you can or think you can’t, either way, you’re right.”

The best team doesn’t win.

The team that plays best wins.

The Davids beat the Goliaths all the time.

The fastest horse does not always win the race.

If you go all-out, you’re a winner. If you hold back, you’re not.

Any questions?

MESSAGE #998 THE TAO

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From the Tao Te Ching (written around 500 B.C.)…

A great misfortune comes about
With the feeling, ‘I have an enemy’
For when ‘I’ and ‘enemy’ exist together
There is no room left for my treasure

Thus, when two opponents meet
The one who does not see an enemy
Will surely triumph (69)

MESSAGE #994 OPPORTUNITY

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Every game is an opportunity to measure yourself against your own potential.
— Bud Wilkinson

 

MESSAGE #991 A PEAK PERFORMANCE PRINCIPLE: HOW TO CREATE GREATNESS

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Today’s message is especially dedicated to Manon Bollegraf in the Netherlands, Ash Kulkarni in New York City, Candice Carlin in Philadelphia and Kimberly Slater in Cherry Hill, NJ. Happy Birthday to you all!

 

Before you set foot onto the tennis court next time, ask yourself this question…

Am I going to let how I play determine my attitude, or am I going to let my attitude determine how I play?

Think about it – most people react to how they play, but the great ones CREATE how they want to play; it’s a choice.

Act as if it were impossible to fail.

 

For those of you going to the Caesars Tennis Classic in Atlantic City today, look for me in the press box. I will be taking photographs and shooting videos. Find me and you win a prize.