MESSAGE #1048 FLORIDA DAY 3

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Greetings from Florida, Day 3. I am having a great time and my talk yesterday in Key Largo was very well received. I sold many books and connected with some great Florida coaches.

Sarah and I then had a great lunch at the Conch House, which was featured on the Food Network.

Today we are in Dania Beach/Hollywood.

As I blog here at Starbucks, I can’t stop thinking about the late, great Coach John Wooden.

Much of my coaching and life philosophy came from John Wooden. And much of John Wooden’s coaching and life philosophy came from his father.

His father used to say:

“You should never try to be better than someone else.

Always learn from others.

Never cease trying to be the best that you can be – that’s under your control.”

Here are some other great quotes from Wooden…

“Never mention winning – you can lose when you outscore somebody in a game and you can win when you are outscored.”

“Give your best effort and your results will be what they should. The score of a game is a by-product and not the end itself.”

“The journey (practice) is better than the end (game). The game is to see if they did a decent job (in practice) during the week.”

Success is…“Peace of mind attained only through self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to do the best of which you are capable.”

“Character is what you are, your reputation is what you are perceived to be.”

“We hope that things will turn out the way we want them to, but we don’t do the things that are necessary to make those things become reality.”

Wooden’s 3 Rules (From his father):

Never be late

Never use profanity

Never criticize a teammate

“Never mistake activity for achievement.”

“He just used sports as a means to teach us how to apply ourselves to any situation.” -KAREEM ABDUL-JABBAR

 

In the 1930s, a poem stuck with Wooden that helped shape his philosophy. Watch the vlog below to see me recite the poem.

MESSAGE #1046 NEXT STOP: KEY LARGO

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Well, I leave for the airport in a few minutes to hop a flight to Ft. Lauderdale, Florida.

Tomorrow morning I will be speaking at the USPTA Florida Convention to tennis coaches, directors, club owners and administrators at the Ocean Reef Club in Key Largo.

I will be nervous.

Being nervous is good – it means you are about to do something important. Being nervous is much better than not caring.

Do you get nervous before a big match? A presentation at work? Asking someone out on a date?

Pete Sampras used to get nervous all the time. In fact, he used to get so nervous before finals that he would throw up in the locker room.

But why was Sampras able to perform the way he did?

Because he didn’t act how he felt.

So tomorrow morning at about 9:30am I will be getting nervous.

But at 10am, I am going to ACT like I’m going to rock the house.

Next message from sunny (hopefully) Florida.

MESSAGE #1039 EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH BRANDON LAIRD

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Brandon Laird is one of the top Yankee prospects. He currently plays for the Double-A Trenton Thunder and is leading the league in RBIs.

The other night, Laird hit for the cycle (single, double, triple, home run), including a walk-off home run (above) to win the game.

I was in the press box for that game, in fact, I spent some time with Laird before the game. I knew he was a top prospect, but what impressed me most was his character and attitude. Below are the highlights from our conversation.

Brandon Laird is 22 and comes from a baseball family. His brother, Gerald, is the starting catcher for the Detroit Tigers.

I started out by asking Laird about the best home run he ever hit.

“It was in a playoff game in high school, extra innings and I got a first pitch fast ball and just put a good swing on it.”

The key word is just. He “just” put a good swing on it. Laird and I talked about how peak performance happens when we have very little mental interference. You’re not thinking about your technique, your last at-bat, what people will think if you have a bad game or “what am I eating later?”

ET: Do you ever get nervous before games?

BL: I do. But then I take a couple deep breaths and tell myself that I’ve been in this situation before.

ET: Who is your favorite player?

BL: Growing up I was a big Chipper Jones fan and now I like Alex Rodriguez, as well.

ET: How did you get to this point in your career?

BL: Hard work.

ET: What do you know now that you wish you knew when you were younger?

BL: A lot. The scouts at how well you do, but they also look at how poorly you do. If you go 4-4, that’s great, but if you can go 0-4 and still contribute on defense, be a leader and bounce back the next game, that’s even better.

ET: How is your nutrition?

BL: I actually started eating really well and lost about 25 pounds and it is definitely giving me more energy and helping me play at a higher level. It wasn’t easy, but I stuck to it.

Laird also shared with me the fact that he didn’t even make varsity in his first year of high school. “You can’t control that – you just have to go out and play your game and focus on the things you can control.”

Derek Jeter and Pete Rose also gave Laird some great advice (watch the video below).

As you know, after my conversation with Laird, he went out on the field and became only the second person in team history to hit for the cycle.

I could tell just by talking to Brandon that he had the right mindset and that he will go far. In fact, I gave him a copy of my book and signed it, “See you in the Bronx, Ed.”

Brandon Laird is a great player, but more importantly, he is a great person.

Watch the video below for part of our conversation…

MESSAGE #1032 ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE

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I recently started working with a high school tennis player who had low self-esteem and negativity issues.

His father called me to ask if I could work with his son to overcome his challenges.

Well, I did one long session with him and then gave him some homework.

I saw him a week later and I immediately noticed that his body language and attitude was completely different.

I said, “How’s it going?”

He replied, “Great! I am not negative anymore.”

I was skeptical.

I found out that he lost a couple matches during the week, but was extremely happy with his attitude.  He was a new person, and he had a winning mindset. He wasn’t perfect, but this was a great start, nonetheless.

I was extremely proud of him.

What did I give him?

HOPE.

Hold On Possibilities Exist.

What’s the point?

Mental skills are just like physical skills – they are trainable.

This young man is striving to become a little bit better every day, and I am confident that as our coaching sessions continue, he will eventually become the player, and person he wants to be.

Afterall, ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE.

“The journey of 1,000 miles begins with a single step.”

MESSAGE #1031 FOUR WORDS…

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DON’T QUIT, CAN’T FAIL

 

MESSAGE #1028 TALKING WITH A LIFE COACH

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I recently spent some time with life coach,  Dolores DeGiacomo.

I asked Dolores what some common challenges were for her clients. She said that many times people have unrealistic expectations for themselves and others. They focus on external things that are out of their control and then get upset or angry.

When we focus our energy on things we cannot control, we are wasting energy. It’s a losing battle.

Instead, DeGiacomo says, “We should focus on things we can control, like our perspective on situations and people, being kind to ourselves and never give up.”

“How can we do it differently next time?” is better than “What’s wrong with me/them?” DeGiacomo added.

One of her clients was complaining that her mother-in-law was not treating her the way she wanted to be treated.

DeGiacomo asked, “Does she know how you would like to be treated?”

“No,” here client responded.

That’s like if I’m a tennis coach and I expect my students to practice between lessons, work on their fitness, have proper nutrition and work on their mental toughness…but I don’t tell them to, and then get angry at them when they don’t. That’s just silly.

Dolores also recommends that we stay in “learning mode.” When we strive for constant improvement instead of results, we actually start getting better results, as a by-product.

I like that.

For a free 10-minute consultation with Coach Dolores DeGiacomo, email:

MESSAGE #1024 HOW TO WIN MORE PART II

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Today’s message is especially dedicated to the great tennis coach, Javier Perez Cigoj in Argentina.

So yesterday I talked about negative reactions on the court and why they can hurt your performance and results.

Soon after, I received a message from Javier, a tennis coach in Argentina and he said, “Great message, but how should you act instead?”

Well, Javier, the key is to let the point go – you can think about how to make an adjustment, but then, keep it in the past.

1. Take a couple deep breaths (to stay in the present and to lower your heart rate).
2. Project a confident image.
3. Think about where you want to hit your next shot.
4. Focus on the things you can control (your energy, attitude, strategy and effort).
5. Cultivate the feeling of winning the next point (even before the point begins).

The best way to increase your chances of winning is to not focus on winning.

Focus on the process instead of the product and as a by-product you will win more.

MESSAGE #1023 HOW TO WIN MORE

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IMAGINE THIS…

You are playing a match. The score is 30-30, 5-5 in the final set. Your return is nice and deep which forces your opponent to hit a weak shot. You hit a nice deep approach shot, follow it to net and get a high floating ball to your forehand side. You hit it, it hits the top of the net and you lose the point.

How do you react?

Most players would react negatively with their body language, self-talk or hit their racquet on the ground.

This works to your opponent’s advantage because…

1. You will boost their confidence.
2. By reacting negatively, you actually produce different hormones in your body and create muscle tension (which makes you play poorly).
3. You will decrease your chances of winning the match.

I have worked with some high level players and most of them play unbelievable when they are “on” but when they start losing, their games and body language deteriorate.

This is fairly normal.

Do you want to be normal or do you want to be great?

Act as if it were impossible to fail. -DOROTHEA BRANDE

MESSAGE #1013 ANGER

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Today’s message is especially dedicated to all the players out there who have anger management issues.

I once had a student who would often get angry at himself after losing a point. And by once, I mean, I “often” have students who get angry and negative during competition.

Negativity and anger are common challenges for competitive players, but here’s the good news…

This can be overcome with training (just like fixing your backhand).

What do you say to yourself after you lose a point?

“I can’t believe you missed that shot!”

“You stink!”

“What’s wrong with you?!?”

Let’s analyze this voice for a second…

Does this “inner coach” help you perform better?

Of course not. What if a real coach spoke like this to their player? Wouldn’t you find a new coach?

If this is an issue for you, you need to find a new “inner coach.”

This inner coach should say something like…

“No problem. How can I make an adjustment? Good, now let’s focus on the next point.”

“That point is in the past, let’s focus on the next one.”

“You’re still in control. Let’s go!”

What you say to yourself between points will determine how you play and what kind of results you get.

How do YOU want to play and what kind of results do YOU want to get?

Remember this secret formula: S + A = R (Situation plus Attitude equals Result).