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MESSAGE #742 BE SCARED…

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“Do one thing every day that scares you.”
-ELEANOR ROOSEVELT

I really like this quote.

Most people avoid scary things. But then why do we watch scary movies? Why do we ride roller coasters? Because we love the excitement.

How does this relate to sports?

Well, I call it mental cross-training. If you get nervous or scared before a tennis match or tryouts, put yourself in a similar type of situation more often. Then, when it actually happens, you will be more comfortable.

But there’s more to it. When you face a scary situation and do it anyway, you are flexing your mental toughness muscles. It makes you stronger and tougher. It gives you confidence.

What scares me? Speaking in front of a group and I’m a motivational speaker. It scares me, but I love it. Public speaking is the most feared thing in the world. Even more than death. Last year I gave over 30 talks and I wouldn’t change a thing. It has made me a better speaker, tennis pro and person.

So I challenge you to do one scary thing today and see how it feels.

Leave your comments…

Thanks for reading.

MESSAGE #741 WHAT IT TAKES TO BE #1

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Today’s message is especially dedicated to the great Kashka Koralewska in Burlington, Vermont.

Do you know what it takes to be #1?

It’s very simple…

Stop trying to be #1!!!

Greatness lies in your effort and attitude. If you try to be number one, you are putting too much pressure on yourself and you won’t be able to perform at a high level. Work hard and enjoy the process. If you do this, you’re already a winner.

If you do good things, good things will happen.

Focus on the end-result, and you won’t be totally focused on the task at hand, and your improvement will be limited.

And don’t worry about what others think.

Oftentimes we care too much about what others think, but remember this…

When we’re 20, we care what everyone thinks.
When we’re 40, we don’t care what anyone thinks.
And when we’re 60, we realize that nobody’s been thinking about us at all.

Focus on going all out, every day. Enjoy the process and have gratitude for all the big and little things in your life. And make sure you breathe.

It’s okay to want to be the best in the world, but it’s more important to be the best for the world.


Thanks for reading.

MESSAGE #740 CALLING ALL HUMANS…

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Today’s message is especially dedicated to the great Rebecca Conti – a special Happy Birthday to you.

RULES FOR BEING HUMAN

You will learn lessons.
We’re all enrolled in a full-time school called “life on planet Earth.”
Every person and incident is your teacher.
There are no mistakes-only lessons.
“Failures” are the stepping stones to “success.”
A lesson is repeated until learned.
It is presented in various forms until you learn it-then you go to the next lesson.
If you don’t learn easy lessons, they get harder.
Pain is one way the universe gets your attention.
You’ll know you’ve learned a lesson when your actions change.
Only action turns knowledge to wisdom.
“There” is no better than “here.”
When “there” becomes “here,” you’ll find another “there” that again looks better than “here.”
Others are only mirrors.
You can only love or hate something in another that reflects something you love or hate in yourself.
Your life is up to you.
Life provides the canvas; you do the painting.
Your answers lie inside you.
All you need to do is look, listen, and trust.
You’ll tend to forget all this.
You can remember anytime you wish.
-author unknown

MESSAGE #739 CAN YOU? OF COURSE YOU CAN…

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“Human beings, by changing the inner beliefs of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives.”
-WILLIAM JAMES

Today’s message is especially dedicated to the great David Ostermann Gartner from Slovenia.

Yesterday I talked about acting differently than how you feel.

This is one of the keys to peak performance in sports, and life.

“Act as if” is also one of the principles that I talk about in my book. Most people only use a fraction of the potential that they have. Why? Because they think, “I can’t” more than they think, “I can.” They act according to how they feel. But it doesn’t have to be that way.

In Eastern philosophy, when you are pushed, you pull and when you are pulled, you push. You should fight fire with water. You should fight anger with love. And you should fight “I can’t” with “I can.”

I know what you’re thinking, “How can I do this?”

It’s easy…

Act as if…it were impossible to fail.

That’s all.

Thanks for reading.

MESSAGE #738 I WAS NERVOUS IN PRACTICE…

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“If you perform to the best of your ability, you may not always win but you will never lose.”
-LAWRENCE LEMIEUX, Olympic sailing competitor

Today’s message is especially dedicated to my favorite tennis twins, Sammy and Leah Schaeffer…sorry, Bryan Brothers.

I remember the first time I hit with Martina Navratilova. We were playing doubles in preparation for her comeback out of retirement. Martina and I were on opposite teams and warming up one-on-one with each other. I remember the first couple balls I hit with her. All I kept thinking was, “I’m hitting with a living legend!” and my whole body was tense. I hit a couple short balls and even mis-hit one.

But then, I thought, “This is ridiculous, she’s just another tennis player. Play tennis!”

At first I had to act like I was more confident than I was, but after a few minutes, a light switch went on, and I started playing well – playing loose.

Remember, the winners and losers feel the same feelings, they just act differently. Was Martina nervous warming up with me? Probably not, but I’m sure she has been nervous before some US Open finals.

My friend, Nicole Arendt, former World #2 WTA Doubles, told me that when she was serving for the match in the finals of Wimbledon, she was so nervous that her hands were shaking.

So if the pros get nervous, it’s okay if you get nervous.

As long as you don’t act nervous.

Act like the person you want to be, even if you’re not that person…yet.
Thanks for reading.

MESSAGE #737 I WAS DOWN AT THE POLICE STATION…

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“When we long for life without difficulties, remind us that oaks grow strong in contrary winds and diamonds are made under pressure.”
-PETER MARSHALL

I spent some time at the police station yesterday.The great Sergeant Longo of the Lawrence Township Police Department is a friend of mine and he was kind enough to give me a private tour of the facility.

Sergeant Longo showed me how 911 and other emergency calls come through and are dealt with in the control center. I was also interested to see the cells, garage where they drive arrested persons in, the police weight room, storage area for riot and training gear. I also saw the explosives box that the K-9 unit uses to train their police dog. Every hallway and room was locked before and after entering. There were also special areas in which he could not carry his gun. I was amazed at how big the facility was, and how it was such a major operation.

In my book, I talk about Sergeant Longo (then a detective) and how being a police officer is just like being an athlete. It’s all about performing under pressure. Being cool under pressure. I asked Sergeant Longo if they had any specific breathing or relaxation techniques that they use when under pressure. They didn’t, so guess what? I’m going to create a program for them that includes the same keys in sports – focus, relaxation/stress reduction, and motivation/activation.

Walking around the police station, I couldn’t help but be amazed at how organized it all was. It looked like everything was under control. I felt safe. After all, if things don’t go well, who are they going to call?

I still recall when Sergeant Longo took me to the shooting range. I enjoyed it because it was a metaphor for shooting at a target or reaching a goal. Read the blog entry and watch the video of me shooting here: http://edtseng.blogspot.com/search?q=message+%23417

Well, thank you to Sergeant Longo and thanks for reading.

MESSAGE #736 RELAX…DON’T DO IT

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“Relax don’t do it. When you want to to go to it. Relax don’t do it…But shoot it in the right direction. Make making it your intention.”
-FRANKIE GOES TO HOLLYWOOD

Today’s message is especially dedicated to the great Matt Davis, president of the USPTA Illinois Division.

One of the biggest challenges in sports is to stay relaxed when the pressure’s on. The great ones do it with ease, but they weren’t born that way – they were trained that way. It’s just like anything else, you have to condition yourself to be or act a certain way. If you don’t, whatever happens, happens.

So imagine this…

You’re in New York City. It’s summer and it’s hot. There are people all around you, bumping into you and you feel like a sardine. You can hear all the loud cars honking at each other and a taxi zooms by, changing lanes without even signaling. There’s a man talking to himself on the corner. The noises get louder and louder. There is a man dressed in a gorilla suit handing out flyers, yelling “Sale today!” There are literally thousands of things happening all at once.

Now, imagine stepping into a building, it’s the Empire State Building. It’s air-conditioned. You take the elevator up to the top floor. It’s quiet and not too crowded. As you walk up to the glass window, a sense of calm enters you. You look out at the peaceful skyscrapers and the sky. You can see the Hudson River. Next, you look down at the slow moving people and silent cars. You notice your breath. You’re breathing deeply and you are relaxed. You smile.

Now come back to the present moment.

You just performed a type of meditation. When you’re on the tennis court, there will be distractions. Sources may be spectators, weather conditions, loud noises, your opponent, and yourself. The only distraction you can control is yourself.

So imagine you are back in New York City and there are all these distractions. But then you enter the Empire State Building and go up to the top floor. You calmly observe all the things going on around you, but you let them go. Your focus is on the ball. Your energy, your effort. And your game plan. You take a couple deep breaths and get ready to play your game – relaxed and focused.

And if at any time, you start to feel stressed or distracted, just take a couple deep breaths, in through the nose and out through the mouth. This will relax you and bring you back to the present moment.

You can do a variation of this exercise if you get nervous before a presentation at school or work. Or before your piano recital.

There will always be distractions around you. You can’t control that. But you can control your perception and focus. The key is staying relaxed, in the present. Deep breaths are your natural anchor.


Thanks for reading.

MESSAGE #735 THE NOCEBO EFFECT…

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“Whether you think you can or think you can’t, either way you’re right.”
-HENRY FORD

We all know about the placebo effect – when a treatment or medication with no therapeutic value (i.e., a sugar pill) is administered to a person and their symptoms improve. This person believes and expects the medicine will work, therefore it does. Placebo comes from the Latin “I shall please.”

The opposite is something called the nocebo effect, which is Latin for “I will cause pain.”

“In one study, a group of students was told that a mild electric current would be sent through their brains, and that it might cause a headache in some of them. They were fitted with electrodes, but no electricity was applied. Even so, 70 percent of them suffered headaches.”
-From “Meditation as Medicine” by Khalsa and Stauth

So as stated in my book, “Game. Set. Life. – Peak Performance for Sports and Life,” sports and life are a self-fulfilling prophecy. What you believe is oftentimes what comes true.

What are your beliefs?


Thanks for reading.

MESSAGE #733 I LOST…

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“You either win or you learn.”

-author unknown



Well, last night I lost. And I learned.



My doubles partner, Dan, and I had an early exit at this year’s Cryan Tennis Tournament.



Should we have won? I think so.



Did we deserve to win? Probably not.



The Cryan tournament is like a mini-US Open – some great players, many of whom play almost daily.



Dan and I hit once before the tournament.



Were we prepared? Not really.



You get what you focus on, and I have been focusing on my business, speaking engagements and book promotion. I would rather help others than feel good with individual tournament results.



I don’t need to try and qualify for the US Open this year, but perhaps one of my students will one day, or at least win the US Open in their own lives/careers. But guess what? I will be in the US Open this year – promoting my book and doing a book signing on September 1. I have already gotten great feedback about my book from people all over the world. That, to me is, is worth so much more than if I were in the US Open, or even still in the Cryan.



Am I happy we lost?



Of course not, but I’m over it. But you can be sure that Dan and I will be better prepared for next year.

Our result was in direct proportion to the work we put in prior to the tournament.

But guess what? Dan’s business is thriving and I’m happy with how things are going with me. No regrets here.

Are you focusing on the things you want most?

Thanks for reading.

And congrats to Tina Romero – after reading yesterday’s blog message, she was able to run eight straight miles when previously, she couldn’t even run three!!! You gotta believe!


MESSAGE #732 WHAT THIS BLOG IS ALL ABOUT…

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“I think I can, I think I can. I think I can.”

-The Little Engine That Could



This blog is not about tennis or sports psychology. This blog is about giving people hope, and the cultivation of optimism. The belief that anything is possible. We are all blessed with the tools to become successful, but oftentimes we get in our own way. We don’t believe that we can do things. But the truth is, we can. Let’s recall my all-time favorite children’s story…



A little railroad engine was employed about a station yard for such work as it was built for, pulling a few cars on and off the switches. One morning it was waiting for the next call when a long train of freight-cars asked a large engine in the roundhouse to take it over the hill “I can’t; that is too much a pull for me,” said the great engine built for hard work. Then the train asked another engine, and another, only to hear excuses and be refused. In desperation, the train asked the little switch engine to draw it up the grade and down on the other side. “I think I can,” puffed the little locomotive, and put itself in front of the great heavy train. As it went on the little engine kept bravely puffing faster and faster, “I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.”



As it neared the top of the grade, which had so discouraged the larger engines, it went more slowly. However, it still kept saying, “I–think–I–can, I–think–I–can.” It reached the top by drawing on bravery and then went on down the grade, congratulating itself by saying, “I thought I could, I thought I could.”



–The Little Engine that Could, Mabel C. Bragg



Mabel C. Bragg, a school teacher in Boston, wrote this story in 1930.



Well her her story lives on to this day. Here is an email I received from the great Alma Prelec in Boston.



Dear Ed,

A few weeks ago I received an email from my 9th grade cross-country coach reminding me to keep running throughout the summer so that I will be in shape for this fall. I wasn’t very excited to run after lounging around all of June but quickly I was back into the routine of doing about 5k every day. The only problem was, I would ALWAYS stop around halfway for just a bit to catch my breath because I’d think I couldn’t keep running. This was really bothering me because I didn’t want to have to keep stopping during tryouts.

One day I was reading your blog and I came across the entry about you during one of your first yoga classes. You described how you had to hold your arms out in a position that seemed to go on forever. You noted with frustration how an elderly woman near you seemed to be having a much easier time than you even though you were clearly in better physical shape.

Then you had a revelation! Even though you were in better shape, she was more comfortable with the yoga poses and therefore more confident and had better mental toughness.

So yesterday I went running again. As I ran, I thought about your post. As I neared the mid-point, I thought to myself “I am definitely fit enough to do this. All I need to do is be strong enough mentally.”

And then I did it! It was pretty amazing. I didn’t even feel tired when I got back home. Thanks!

–ALMA PRELEC, Boston Massachusetts

PS Congrats on getting your book in the US Open!

So that’s what I’m talking about.

HOPE.

BELIEF.

OPTIMISM.

How will you say, “I think I can” today?

Thanks for reading.

Come on out tonight @ 7:30pm to the Cryan Tennis Tournament at Mercer County Park, West Windsor, NJ for 1st Round Doubles action – Ed Tseng and Dan Horowitz.