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MESSAGE #710 WHAT ADVERSITY?

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“Obstacles can’t stop you. Problems can’t stop you. And most of all, people can’t stop you. Only you can stop you.”
-JEFFREY GITOMER

I had a powerful night last night.

My radio show on Overcoming Adversity (http://www.blogtalkradio.com/Game-Set-Life/2009/07/06/Overcoming-Adversity) featured the great Bob Ryland, the first black professional tennis player, Jennie Murphy, a legally blind student-athlete and Rayna DuBose, a Division I full-scholarship basketball phenom, turned amputee, turned motivational speaker.

If you think life is difficult for you, think again. It’s all perspective.

Bob Ryland lived through segregation and had to sit at the back of the bus and use separate public drinking fountains and restrooms.

Jennie Murphy is legally blind and wears hearing aids. She plays four sports and is quarterback when she plays football. Her receivers clap loudly to tell her where to throw the ball.

Rayna DuBose was a superstar high school basketball player and got a full-ride to Virginia Tech. After her freshman year, she contracted a form of meningitis and within 24 hours, lost everything. She had her four limbs amputated. A year later, she went back to Virginia Tech, finished up her degree and was assistant coach for the basketball team. Now she is a motivational speaker.

If you look at these stories, life seems difficult.

But these are three of the most optimistic people I know.

They don’t believe they have disabilities or went through hell. They feel it is what it is and your attitude determines how high you go.

Will you have pressure?

Of course, but it’s what you do under that pressure that counts.

What gives you pressure? How will you handle it?

No pressure, no diamond.

Thanks for reading.

MESSAGE #708 DON’T DO IT!!!

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Well, it’s the 4th of July here in the grand old US of A. What does that mean? Barbecues, the beach, parades, concerts and fireworks. The Declaration of Independence for the United States.

Most people are going to have hot dogs, hamburgers, beer, and soda.

These things are not the healthiest for you, are they?

Do we even know what is in hot dogs?

I think they’re made of pork.

Contrary to popular belief, hot dogs are not made from pig snouts and leftover meat. But they can’t be good for you.

This is from an AP article…

ST. LOUIS (AP) — A new billboard debuting in St. Louis asks for “dietary disaster” warning labels to be put on hot dogs served at Busch Stadium and other Major League Baseball stadiums.A nonprofit advocacy group called The Cancer Project is sponsoring the billboard that debuts Wednesday off Interstate 70 in St. Louis County, just in time for this month’s All-Star Game. The billboard features an image of hot dogs jammed into a cigarette pack labeled “Unlucky Strikes.”The billboard and a letter from a Cancer Project dietitian to Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig claim a link between processed meats and the risk of colorectal cancer.The National Pork Board on Wednesday refuted the claim, calling it an attempt to scare consumers when it says the fundamental causes of many cancers are alcohol, smoking, obesity and lack of physical activity.

I’m not saying I never eat hot dogs. It’s obviously your choice.

What I am saying is that you should think before you do things.



Everything is a choice. Don’t just do things because everybody else does.



You get out what you put in to your body. The fastest car goes nowhere without fuel.

And nothing tastes as good as fit feels.

Thanks for reading and have a happy and healthy 4th.


MESSAGE #706 ARE YOU A NEGATIVE NANCY OR A POSITIVE PATTY?

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“It is better to light the candle than to curse the darkness.”
-ELEANOR ROOSEVELT

In my article, “Top 5 Mental Mistakes Tennis Players Make,” the number one mistake was “They Are Negative.”

Most people would rather curse the darkness than light the candle.

“What’s wrong with you?!” or “I’m playing terrible today!” are common thoughts.

What kind of results do these players usually get?

Unfavorable ones.

Now say the following to yourself…

“Okay, the ball went into the net – I’ll just aim higher. I’ve still got this.”

“I am playing the number one player in the state! What a great experience!”

You can take any situation and turn it into a positive. It is not the situation you are handed, but your attitude towards it that matters.

If you were to count how many negative comments, sounds and gestures you made in a single day, you would be amazed. The next time you feel the urge to complain or be annoyed, ask yourself, “How can I turn this into a positive?” instead.

When you decide to light the candle instead of cursing the darkness, your world changes.

Thanks for reading.

MESSAGE #705 A LESSON FROM MICHAEL JORDAN…

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“We didn’t approach it as ‘Let’s be 13-1 in December.’ We approached it as ‘Let’s get this game…Let’s get this game…Let’s get this game.’ The next thing you know, we were 13-1.”
-MICHAEL JORDAN

Do you have a big project or big goal?

Do you sometimes feel that you cannot see the finish line?

You need to approach life in the same way that you eat an elephant…one bite at a time.

Michael Jordan takes one game at a time.

Break up your projects into smaller, more manageable tasks.

Create a schedule for practices and match play to reach your tennis goals.

Do a little bit every day.

I am currently working on creating new habits for my business and personal life. I have been getting up at 6:05AM every morning to take care of things. I have basically added two hours to every day. Do I really feel like getting up at 6AM every day? No, but once I “just do it” I’m glad I did. Those little things add up.

Take one day at a time.

You are like a wire – at first your actions create a thin wire, but as you do the right things, day after day, and develop good habits, that wire wraps around and gets stronger and stronger. And before you know it it’s a thick cable! And nothing can stop it.

Homework: Make the most of today, then repeat tomorrow…and the next day….and the next day….

Thanks for reading.

MESSAGE #704 READ THIS MESSAGE AND YOU WILL NEVER COMPLAIN AGAIN…

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“I’m just like everybody else.”
-RAYNA DUBOSE, motivational speaker

I was so excited about this blog entry that I couldn’t wait until tomorrow to post it…

I have a new hero (she-ro); her name is Rayna DuBose.

Rayna had a full-scholarship to Virginia Tech to play on their women’s basketball team.

In 2001-02: A 6-3 center, DuBose played in 13 games … Never missed a collegiate free throw attempt (15-15) … Scored in double figures four times … Had 10 points in collegiate debut against Northwestern State (11/24) in LSU Crawfish Classic …Tallied a career-high 13 points in only ten minutes against Vermont (3/20) in WNIT Quarterfinal.


High School: Averaged 15.5 points, 13.1 rebounds and 3.0 blocks her senior year for Coach Marcus Lewis at Oakland Mills H.S., in Columbia Md. … Led the team in scoring and was the school’s all-time leading scorer with 1,067 career points … Was named one of the top 30 centers in the nation by All-Star Girls Report.

Impressive, right?

Wrong.

DuBose was hospitalized at Montgomery Regional Hospital with meningococcal meningitis on April 2, 2002, just over a week after the Hokies had completed the basketball season. This rare disease is a bacterial infection that leads to inflammation of fluids surrounding the brain and spinal cord. The next day she was airlifted in critical condition to the University of Virginia Medical Center where she would remain for the next 97 days. She spent three weeks in intensive care before being upgraded to fair condition.


In early May of 2002, she underwent a series of surgeries in which doctors amputated parts of all four limbs due to tissue damage caused by the infection. On July 8, DuBose was transferred to Good Samaritan Hospital, a Baltimore rehabilitation facility near her home in Columbia, Md. Soon after, she returned to her home and began regular visits to the rehab facility where she later would be fitted for prosthesis for her arms and legs.

After the pain, therapy and what seemed like torture, Rayna returned back to Virginia Tech in the summer of 2003 to return to her normal college life as if nothing had ever happened. With a year off from school in 2002 she still remained active, taking on-line classes and staying a part of the Virginia Tech Women’s Basketball team by serving as a Student Assistant Coach, still traveling and being a part of the team.


In 2003 she received the Most Courageous Award at the Men’s Final Four in New Orleans. In 2005 she received the Wilma Rudolph Award. Rayna has also made appearances on HBO Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel, CBS Sports, the CBS Early Show and local news stations.

Rayna recently graduated from Virginia Tech with a degree in Consumer Studies and plans a career in motivational speaking about priorities in life, determination, perseverance and never giving up. She hopes that one day she can spread the smile that she wears everyday with others.

“Everyday I sit around and listen to other people complain about small things like: writing a paper, their boss yelling at them, or parking spaces. The only thing I can do is listen because I am simply thinking about how I am going to improvise to put these studded earrings in my ears or how I can find a away to get my gas cap off to pump my gas or maybe even how I am going to slip into my legs in the morning when I wake up.

After a long 97 days of being laid up in a hospital bed, I knew the day I awoke from a three week coma that my life had taken a turn for the worst and the best. I realized I was about to be given a second chance not only to live, but, at life. I then realized that the way I was living before (partying real late, drinking and not attending class) had to stop. I knew that I wanted better for myself and my family.”

I spoke to Rayna today and was amazed at her optimism and love for life.

Rayna told me, “I am happier now than before my disability. It was really a blessing in disguise. I was an athlete before, but didn’t have any drive. Now I do because I want to help others. Basketball helped me because whatever I do, I try to be the best, or at least give my best. I don’t feel that I have a disability, it just takes me longer to do things. Usually when I hang out with my friends, I am the driver. I had it all and lost it all within 24 hours, but I’m happier now and the sky’s the limit.”

With a winning mindset like that, who can doubt that Rayna will become a great motivational speaker and whatever else she decides to be.

Don’t miss my internet radio show this Sunday night at 8pm. The topic will be overcoming adversity and my special guest will be Rayna DuBose. http://www.blogtalkradio.com/Game-Set-Life

Thank you Rayna and thanks for reading.

MESSAGE #703 DO THIS NOW!

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“Concentration is the ability to think about absolutely nothing when it is absolutely necessary.”

-RAY KNIGHT, former professional baseball player and manager

What do you need to concentrate on?

Your sport? You job? Your schoolwork?

In all great performances, there is very little self-talk going on. They “just” did this or “just” did that. They are in the zone, or experiencing flow.

There will be voices inside your head. And if you’re asking yourself, “Are there voices inside my head?”…that’s the voice I’m talking about.

But the difference between the winners and the losers is that the great ones accept those voices and then focus on staying in the present.

Here’s a little exercise to get you in the present right now.

If you’re in a place where you can close your eyes, do so. Take a deep breath through your nose for about six seconds. Now exhale out through your mouth for about eight seconds. Again. As you breathe in, imagine the air being fresh; fresh air and fresh thoughts. As you breathe out, imagine all the toxins, stress and negative thoughts leaving your body. Do this for five minutes. Set your alarm if you have to.

This exercise is a great way to relieve stress and re-focus on the present. You can take these deep breaths also between points and on change-overs during a match.

Leave me any comments.
Thanks for reading.

MESSAGE #702 EASTERN WISDOM AND TENNIS…

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Recently, the great Desmond Oon, Ph.D., author of “Can Eastern Wisdom Improve Your Tennis? You Bet.” sent me an email.

Dr. Oon is a USPTA Master Professional, former Davis Cup coach and captain of the Republic of Singapore, played on the international tennis circuit in the 1960’s and board-certified hypnotherapist. He read about my book in the latest ADDvantage magazine for USPTA teaching professionals and wanted to do a book exchange. I was honored.

I remember attending one of Dr. Oon’s workshops while I was at Ferris State University – it was one I will never forget. He hit topspin with a telephone book!

I have since begun reading Oon’s book and love it. Here is an excerpt…

Eastern Wisdom: You Can’t Succeed If You Often Change Course

Oon’s Take: In life, we can’t manage too many affairs at the same time. It is like trying to hold down several pumpkins in the water concurrently. When we try to hold down too many with both hands, another pops up and we have to repeat the action.

If you set out to achieve certain objectives on court, you have a better chance of success, if you stick to your plan of action. Your success rate will fall if you keep on changing objectives, in mid-stream, even before they are realized.

Give your plan of action time to show results. You can’t succeed if you often change course, in the middle of a match.

Thank you Dr. Oon and thanks for reading.

MESSAGE #701 FOOOD!!!

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“Forget love, I’d rather fall in chocolate.”
-author unknown

If you know me, you know I love food. I love everything from a burger at the ball game to a fillet at the Ritz.

This past Thursday, I attended an amazing event at Mrs. G’s TV and Appliances in Lawrenceville, NJ. It was the 1st Annual Chef Challenge. Three of the area’s top chefs were there – Chef Eben Copple of The Yardley Inn, Chef Peter Nowakoski of Rat’s, and Chef Jason Hensle of Salt Creek Grill.

The food was great. Take my word for it. Each chef prepared a starter, a main course and a dessert. The judges ate, then the vultures, I mean, public ate. I voted for the eventual winner, Chef Eben Copple of The Yardley Inn. McCaffrey’s donated all of the ingredients and Salt Creek Grill provided wine. And it was free. This event was a benefit for The United Way.

Not only was this a great event for fun and food, but it was a brilliant marketing idea for Debbie Schaeffer and Mrs. G’s. The above photo is of Debbie with the winners and judges.

Last night, my inner chef came out as I made a whole wheat pizza, half plain and half broccoli/red onion. Okay, I was hungry so I cheated. I used a pre-made whole wheat dough, bought mozzarella, and opened a can of Don Pepino pizza sauce. As I was opening the can of sauce, I noticed that it said, “Fully prepared.”

All of the successful people in the world are fully prepared. Not to say things always go according to plan, but preparation certainly helps in sports and life. Debbie Schaeffer, Mrs. G’s and all of the volunteers certainly prepared. The result? A great event.

Today, I am playing mixed doubles with Debbie Schaeffer, Bob Weber and a player to be named later at Pretty Brook Country Club. I’m not sure what the teams will be, but you can bet that I’ll be fully prepared.
Thanks for reading.

MESSAGE #700 YOU’RE A DOG…

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I remember when I posted Message #100. I was pretty excited. Well, this is Message #700 and I’m not very excited. Don’t get me wrong, I love updating my blog every day, but by no means do I feel that “I’ve made it.” 700 messages is a feat to some, but for me, it’s just part of the process. I don’t plan on stopping any time soon. Instead of looking at an end goal, I am focusing on the process and enjoying the journey. The photograph here is of my Boston Terrier, Babe Buckner (sorry Red Sox fans), and here is my message of the day…

“It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.”

-MARK TWAIN

Thanks for reading.

MESSAGE #699 YOU’RE NEVER TOO YOUNG TO LEARN…

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“Knowledge is power.”

Well, I wrapped up Week 1 of my summer tennis camp today.

The campers were on the younger side this week, with the youngest at 7 years old. But I didn’t change much with my lesson plan, not even with the mental training.

Many people think that seven is too young to talk about sports psychology, but I disagree.

I tell a lot of stories. Metaphorical stories with life lessons attached. I talk about how tennis can help you in other areas of life.

And they get it.

Not always, but they get it.

I had one boy this week who also attended my camp last year and remembered some of the stories.

Every day this week I had requests to tell stories with life lessons attached. It was great.

Probably none of the campers this week will go pro. They may not even play on their high school teams. But they will remember the stories. They will remember that tennis is not just about tennis.

It’s about life.

If you can focus, stay positive, go all out and perform under pressure on the tennis court, you can do the same in school, at work and at home.

How do sports help you in other areas of life?


Thanks for reading.