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MESSAGE #1302 DOUBT YOUR DOUBTS

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One of my favorite sayings is:

“Doubt your doubts.”

We all have a little negative voice inside our heads that shows up every once in a while (more often for some people).

Recently, I was coaching some tennis players and I introduced topspin to them. Before they even hit one ball, one of the players said, “Oh, I can’t do that.”

I was in shock.

This was a grown woman and she was counting herself out before she even started.

Fortunately, I was able to help her re-frame her negative voice and she actually performed quite well, but it could have been ugly. This type of limiting attitude is quite common, but we can choose to believe it, or doubt it.

Choose wisely.

Thanks for reading.

MESSAGE #1301 HOW TO BE MENTALLY TOUGH: FACE YOUR FEARS

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William James is known as the father of American psychology. He once said:

“Everybody should do at least two things each day that he hates to do, just for practice.”

I call this mental cross-training.

There will always be things you dislike doing–laundry, homework, making sales calls, practicing, or eating healthy, for instance. But what if we didn’t feel like doing these things and did them anyway? How would that make us feel? I would guess that it would make us feel pretty good; it would make us feel proud. That would give us confidence. And it would give us momentum. That’s part of mental toughness.

Winners do what losers don’t feel like doing.

In other words…

You have to get comfortable being uncomfortable.

Begin today.

MESSAGE #1300 A VALENTINE’S DAY STORY

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One day, an old man found himself sitting next to a young man on the local bus. It was February 14th, Valentines’ Day and the old man was holding a bouquet of flowers. They got to talking and the young man said, “Those are beautiful flowers.”

“Thank you, I’m going to go bring them to my wife,” the old man said. “Do you have a girlfriend?” the old man asked back.

“Yes, she is wonderful and we are very happy, but I don’t have any money to buy her a gift for Valentine’s Day.”

The old man gave a sympathetic smile and the two men were silent for a moment.

Then, the bus stopped and the old man stood up to get off. He faced the young man, handed him the bouquet of flowers and said, “Here, my wife would want you to have these,” as he walked off the bus.

The young man, stunned and grateful, looked out the window as the old man slowly walked across the street, and entered the cemetery.

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone. Remember, it’s about others.

Today, and every day, strive to be a better teammate, coach, son, daughter, mother, father, husband, wife, student and person, by focusing less on yourself and more on making a difference in others’ lives.

MESSAGE #1298 CONTROL WHAT YOU CAN CONTROL

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Recently, I put this quote on my facebook wall:

‎”Care about people’s approval and you will be their prisoner.” -LAO TZU

It was very well-received, but what does it mean?

As an athlete, we have many potential external distractions. Common ones include: spectators, coaches, parents, friends, weather, fans, media, etc.

If we care what everyone thinks, we will be their prisoner and will not be able to perform to our potential.

These external distractions are out of our control.

We should not worry about things that are out of our control.

Instead, we need to focus on the things we can control, and all of those things are within us. That is where the true power is.

Inside.

Control yourself and you can control your destiny.

Let others control you and your destiny is in their hands.

MESSAGE #1297 SLOW THE GAME DOWN

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“Never hurry when it counts.”
-JOANNE CARNER

When things are not going your way, time goes by very quickly.

When things are going your way, time goes by very slowly.

The greatest athletes in the world slow the game down to their speed.

How do they do it?

1. They focus on taking deep diaphragmatic breaths.
2. They focus on playing one point at a time.
3. They focus on the process, not the result.
4. They focus on things they can control.
5. They focus on having fun.

And you can do the same.

MESSAGE #1295

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Gandhi said:

“Full effort is full victory.”

What does this mean?

Here’s how I see it:

1. Go all-out.
2. Focus more on your effort.
3. Focus less on your results.
4. Most people don’t give it their all.
5. When you focus on the “process,” (effort) you get the “product” (winning) that you want.

MESSAGE #1293 ARE YOU HELPING OR ARE YOU HURTING?

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The other day I was coaching on a court next to another pro. This pro used to be a top junior and collegiate player, so he obviously can play the game. But just because someone can play doesn’t mean they can coach, does it?

In education, there are many intelligent individuals, but does that mean they are great teachers? The answer is no.

From my court, I heard a mis-hit, a ball off the frame of the racquet, by one of this coach’s students. There’s nothing wrong with that. But then I heard the coach yell, “Great shot!”

I looked over to see who he was talking to, and sure enough, he was talking to the boy who made the error.

It’s important to be positive, but it has to be real. You can’t just say “Great shot!” for the sake of saying it. That doesn’t help the student. As coaches, perhaps we can change that and say, “Great swing, but make sure you watch the ball longer next time,” to maximize our students’ improvement.

I have a business partner who tells me how it is, regarding our projects, whether I want to hear it or not. Most people don’t like hearing the truth, especially if it hurts. But guess what? I love hearing the truth. I would rather hear it and learn from it than have someone just telling me what I want to hear in order to make me feel good.

And parents, focus less on telling your children how beautiful they are and start telling them how proud you are of their effort and constant improvement.

That’s how winners are made.

But that’s just my opinion.

Leave your comments below.

MESSAGE #1290 HOW TO PLAY YOUR BEST GAME

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Let’s face it, most people play a reactionary game.

When they play well, they react positively.

When they play poorly, they react negatively.

The champions create how they play.

Here’s a great exercise to help you play your best game more often:

1. Think of a past great performance.
2. On an index card, write down what you did well during that performance.
3. Write down what you were focusing on.
4. Write down how you were feeling.
5. Write down what type of body language you had.
6. Keep that index card in your bag.
7. Read it before you practice or compete.
8. Then go out and duplicate that performance.

MESSAGE #1288 HOW ARE YOU PLAYING THE GAME?

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At the end of an athlete’s career, he/she never says, “I wish I would have held back.”

If successful, an athlete most likely will say, “I’m glad I went all-out.”

Taking risks is a key element to success in sports and life. You need to get out of your comfort zone.

Do you want to be comfortable, or do you want to be great?

Today, I took a risk.

I emailed Martin Seligman, the father of Positive Psychology. The guy is a rock star.

Part of me felt that I shouldn’t do it. Why would he want to talk to me?

But I did it anyway.

Not only did he respond, he shared some valuable resources with me.

Have you ever NOT reached out to someone who you thought wouldn’t give you the time of day?

Have you ever NOT hit a shot that you thought you might miss?

It happens all the time. But when that occurs, people are just training themselves to hold back.

Is that how you want to play the game?