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MESSAGE #958 HOW TO PLAY THE GAME

Playing it safe in any form is a recipe for disappointment, frustration, and stagnation.
-JEFF GREENWALD

The quote above is from my friend, Jeff Greenwald, noted sports psychology consultant and author of The Best Tennis of Your Life. Greenwald believes that most people play it safe because they “fear missing and giving up a free point.”

Most people have this mindset. They want to stay in their comfort zone. The problem is that when you are scared of losing the point, you are training yourself to hold back. That is not peak performance. It doesn’t matter whether your weapon of choice is a racquet, pen, paintbrush or frying pan – you have to GO ALL OUT.

I recently had a mental coaching session with a young baseball, basketball and tennis player. He’s only in the 4th grade, but he gets it. Since working with me, he focuses on going all out every time he steps on the court or field. He’s even using my techniques and applying them to school. Not only is he getting better results, he’s also having more fun!

It’s better to go all out and lose than it is to hold back and win.

Leave your comments below.

MESSAGE #947 A GREAT STORY

In this video blog, Ed Tseng, Pro of the Year USTA 2005 and author of “Game. Set. Life.” shares a great story about “acting as if” and peak performance in sports and life.

MESSAGE #944 TODAY IS THE ONLY DAY THAT MATTERS

If you would not be forgotten, as soon as you are dead and rotten,
either write things worth reading, or do things worth writing.
-BENJAMIN FRANKLIN

My only question to you is…

ARE YOU GOING ALL OUT?

If you’re a writer, write things that are worth reading. But if you’re not a writer, do things worth writing about.

I may not know you, but I know THIS about you…

 

1. You have unlimited potential.

2. All of the ability is already inside you (you just have to discover the strategy).

3. You can learn any skill, mental or physical.

4. You can’t win when you’re focused on winning.

5. You don’t have to be great at the start, but you need to start to be great.

 

So today is the only day that matters. Why?

Because you can only live one day at a time.

Make every day the most important day of your life.

Make every practice the most important practice of your life.

Make every competition the most important competition of your life.

If you do this, I’m sure you will be pleased with the results.

Go all out today!

MESSAGE #943 A MENTAL TOUGHNESS EXERCISE

It’s not what’s happening around you. It’s not what’s happening to you. What matters most is what’s happening inside you.

Today’s message is especially dedicated to the great Steven Nakagama Magee in Millburn, NJ.

EXERCISE:

Think back to a “good day” in your sport. Visualize what went on before, during and after that peak performance. Re-create those feelings and actions.

Now go back to a “bad day” that you had. Visualize what went on before, during and after that poor performance. Re-create those feelings and actions.

Compare the two.

The difference is always in your head.

So what does this mean?

It means you have to be mindful of your self-talk during practice and competition.

Instead of breaking yourself down, build yourself up.

MESSAGE #940 A GREAT OLYMPIC STORY

In 1938, Karoly Takacs of the Hungarian Army, was the top pistol shooter in the world. He was expected to win the gold in the 1940 Olympic Games scheduled for Tokyo.

Those expectations vanished one terrible day just months before the Olympics. While training with his army squad, a hand grenade exploded in Takacs’ right hand, and Takacs’ shooting hand was blown off.

Takacs spent a month in the hospital depressed at both the loss of his hand, and the end to his Olympic dream. At that point most people would have quit. And they would have probably spent the rest of their life feeling sorry for themselves. Most people would have quit but not Takacs. Takacs was a winner. Winners know that they can’t let circumstances keep them down. They understand that life is hard and that they can’t let life beat them down. Winners know in their heart that quitting is not an option.

Takacs did the unthinkable; he picked himself up, dusted himself off, and decided to learn how to shoot with his left hand! His reasoning was simple. He simply asked himself, “Why not?”

Instead of focusing on what he didn’t have – a world class right shooting hand, he decided to focus on what he did have – incredible mental toughness, and a healthy left hand that with time, could be developed to shoot like a champion.

For months Takacs practiced by himself. No one knew what he was doing. Maybe he didn’t want to subject himself to people who most certainly would have discouraged him from his rekindled dream.

In the spring of 1939 he showed up at the Hungarian National Pistol Shooting Championship. Other shooters approached Takacs to give him their condolences and to congratulate him on having the strength to come watch them shoot. They were surprised when he said, “I didn’t come to watch, I came to compete.” They were even more surprised when Takacs won!

The 1940 and 1944 Olympics were cancelled because of World War II. It looked like Takacs’ Olympic Dream would never have a chance to realize itself. But Takacs kept training and in 1944 he qualified for the London Olympics. At the age of 38, Takacs won the Gold Medal and set a new world record in pistol shooting. Four years later, Takacs won the Gold Medal again at the 1952 Helsinki Olympics. Takacs – a man with the mental toughness to bounce back from anything.

Winners in every field have a special trait that helps them become unstoppable. A special characteristic that allows them to survive major setbacks on the road to success. Winners recover QUICKLY. Bouncing back is not enough. Winners bounce back QUICKLY. They take their hit, they experience their setback, they have the wind taken out of their sails, but they immediately recover. Right away they FORCE themselves to look at the bright side of things – ANY bright side, and they say to themselves, “That’s OK. There is always a way. I will find a way.” They dust themselves off, and pick up where they left off.

The reason quick recovery is important is that if you recover quickly, you don’t lose your momentum and your drive. Takacs recovered in only one month. If he had wallowed in his misery, if he had stayed “under the circumstances,” if he had played the martyr, and felt sorry for himself much longer, he would have lost his mental edge – his “eye of the tiger” and he never would have been able to come back.

When a boxer gets knocked down, he has ten seconds to get back up. If he gets up in eleven seconds, he loses the fight. Remember that next time you get knocked down.

Takacs definitely had a right to feel sorry for himself. He had a right to stay depressed and to ask himself “Why me?” for the rest of his life. He had the right to act like a mediocre man.

Takacs could have let his terrible accident cause him to become permanently discouraged, to take up heavy drinking, to quit on life alltogether, and maybe even to end his own life. He could have acted like a loser.

But Takacs made the DECISION to dig deep inside and to find a solution. To pick himself up and to learn to shoot all over again. Winners always search for a solution. Losers always search for an escape.

Next time you get knocked down, DECIDE you will act like a winner. DECIDE to act like Takacs. Get up quickly, take action, and astound the world!

(By Ruben Gonzalez, three-time Olympian)

MESSAGE #939 THE MOST DELICIOUS BLOG ENTRY

“Far and away the best prize that life offers is the chance to work hard at work worth doing.”
-THEODORE ROOSEVELT

So here I am entering my most enjoyable blog message.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I enjoy all of my blog messages, but today’s is especially delicious, I mean, enjoyable.

I’m sitting here at DeLorenzo’s Tomato Pies in Robbinsville, NJ. I have wireless internet (stolen from the sushi place next door), an outlet for my laptop and two amazing pies on the way (one 1/2 sweet peppers and onions, 1/2 garlic and one of the owner’s favorite, anchovies, garlic, no cheese…burnt).

Today was my day off, but I gave a mental coaching session and then taught a ladies doubles clinic. I love what I do and don’t mind putting in the hours.

Now I’m blogging during lunch at one of my favorite pizza places on the planet. Again, I don’t consider blogging, work.

Someone recently said that they were jealous of me because I love what I do.

Why can’t you?

I’m not saying to quit your job, but…

-Start doing more of what you love
-Start making a difference
-Think of creative ways you can monetize
-Enjoy the whole process

It’s Friday…are you happy the weekend is here?

I sure am, not because I’m NOT working, but because I AM working…

But for now, I’m off. Time to enjoy my pizza.

Make every day delicious!

Thank you, Sam Amico and DeLorenzo’s Tomato Pies!!

Talk to you tomorrow.

MESSAGE #938 LISTEN TO THE RADIO

Today’s message is especially dedicated to the great Eugene Harper in Hong Kong.

Whether you’re in sports, sales or school, you have to know what radio station your clients, teammates and classmates are listening to.

I’ll save you some time. I know what station they’re listening to…

MMFG AM Radio

Make Me Feel Good About Myself Radio

1. Catch people doing something right.

2. Compliment them.

3. Have a genuine interest in them.

4. Repeat.

Most people focus on themselves.

The great ones focus on others.

Be a great one.

MESSAGE #934 MY FAVORITE VALENTINE’S DAY STORY

There once was a woman, she was the envy of all her friends-she had two boyfriends, Bob and Tom. Bob and Tom both knew about each other. This went on for a couple of years.

Well, one Friday evening, Bob picked her up as he normally did on Friday evenings. But Bob who is normally late, was right on time. And Bob who was normally dressed casually, wore a suit. And Bob who normally was pretty mellow, was a bit excited. So they went to dinner but instead of going to their normal restaurant/bar to eat, they went to a fancy restaurant. They had a wonderful meal and right before dessert, Bob takes out a jewelry box from his jacket pocket and proposes marriage. And the woman says the worst possible thing, aside from a flat-out no. She said, “I have to think about it.” So the Bob was upset and took the woman home.

The woman was sad…until the next night, when Tom picked her up.

So Tom who is normally right on time, was early. And Tom who is normally in a suit, wore a tuxedo. And Tom who normally was energetic, was extremely high energy. They went to dinner but instead of going to their normal fancy restaurant, this night was the country club. They had a wonderful meal and right before dessert, Tom takes out a jewelry box from his jacket pocket and proposes marriage. And the woman says the worst possible thing, aside from a flat-out no. She said, “I have to think about it.” Tom was upset and took the woman home.

The woman sat lying in bed feeling miserable, going from two boyfriends to no boyfriends. But fortunately, the only woman who could help her showed up-her fairy godmother. “You don’t look like your normal self, what’s wrong?” the fairy godmother asked.

“Bob took me out Friday night and we had a nice time, but then he proposed to me and I said I have to think about it. Then Tom took me out Saturday night and we had a great time, but then he proposed to me and I said I have to think about it. I don’t know who to choose!”

“That’s easy. All you have to do is take two pieces of paper and on the top of one write Bob and on the top of the other, write Tom. Take as long as you need and write down the one thing you love most about each of them and then your answer will instantly come to you.”

So the woman took the piece of paper with Bob on it and thought and thought and thought and three hours later she figured out what she loved most about Bob. Then, she took the sheet with Tom on it and it took her another three hours, but she figured out what she loved most about Tom…and her answer instantly came to her.

A little while later, her fairy godmother showed up and looked at her. “Oh, you look like your normal self. Have you come to a decision?”

“Oh yes, I choose Bob!” exclaimed the woman.

“Great, but just out of curiosity, what did you write on Tom’s piece of paper?”

“Well, when I’m with Tom, I feel that he’s the most wonderful person in the whole world!”

“Really?” said the fairy godmother, puzzled. “Then why did you choose Bob?!”

“Because when I’m with Bob, I feel that I’M the most wonderful person in the whole world.”

 

So that’s the whole thing – it’s about others.

The best partners make the relationship better.

The best athletes make the team better.

The best business owners make the employees better.

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY…and Happy Birthday to the great Kory Kahler and my friend, Valentine Barnaby, former Rutgers, NFL and Arena football player.

MESSAGE #602 PEAK PERFORMANCE IN BALLET…

Today’s message is especially dedicated to the great Nora Orphanides.

Last night I attended the American Repertory Ballet & ARB’s Princeton Ballet School’s Jubilee in the beautiful Patriots Theater at The Trenton War Memorial. The event was in celebration of Graham Lustig’s 10th anniversary as Artistic Director of American Repertory Ballet and ARB’s Princeton Ballet School and Anne Woodside Gribbins, recipient of the Audree Estey Award for Excellence in Dance Education.

I have to admit, this was my first ballet, and I was impressed. I used to think of ballet as girls in tutus twirling around. I know that football players are known to take ballet classes to improve their balance and movement, I just had not been exposed to it. I was pleasantly surprised.

The program included a powerful blend of young dancers and seasoned veterans. The music ranged from Strauss to Sinatra. Watching the performances, I gained a new appreciation for ballet and the performers as they showed me new ways to apply the principles that I already teach, such as focus, concentration, teamwork, performing under pressure, and hard work. The choreography was amazing and the strength of the performers was incredible, but these performers were not born to be dancers, they were trained to be dancers.

I realized, just as I did with Dr. Charles Frantz and music, that the skills needed in ballet and the lessons you learn are the same as in sports-and life. It’s all peak performance.

Not many of the performers will become professionals, but they all will walk away with skills they can used to perform in whatever they do.

Thank you Nora Orphanides and thank you, Anna Salvadore.