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Today’s message is dedicated to nobody.

This is Message #191 and I don’t really feel like doing a message today. I’ve done so many, I deserve a day off…Maybe I’ll just go back to bed. I don’t even know if anyone will read this message. I’m tired.

Do you really believe that I would do that? I LOVE blogging. I wouldn’t feel right if I didn’t blog every morning. Sure, there are some days that I don’t FEEL like blogging, but I just do it, and then I get “into” it.

The most successful people in the world don’t always FEEL like doing things every day, but they do it anyway.

One of the secrets of life is that you can perform at a high level even if you don’t FEEL like it. I know in my own experience, I take action BEFORE my body tries to negotiate with myself to be lazy or act according to my feelings.

Feelings are just feelings, take the correct action, regardless of your feelings and you will boost your confidence, be happier and rise up to the top.

Thanks for reading.

Happy Chinese New Year!

Today’s message is especially dedicated to my amazing Special Olympics tennis team.

Do you want to be a winner on the court?

Do you want to be a winner at school?

Do you want to be a winner at work?

Do you want to be a winner in your relationships?

Do you want to be a winner in life?

Here’s how you do it…

CONTRIBUTE

What we get out of life is directly related to our contribution in life. Focus less on yourself and what you WANT and focus MORE on what others want.

Contribute without expecting anything back.

This works because while everyone else is focusing on themselves, you will be focusing on others…and that will make you stand out from the crowd. Contribute because you truly WANT to help others and you ENJOY helping others. People will be more willing to help you out when you help them out first. Most people contact others when they need something…it doesn’t work that way.

Contribute unconditionally to others.

That will help you stand out in your sport.

That will help you stand out at work.

That will help you stand out in your relationships.

That will help you stand out in life.

“A life is not important except in the impact it has on other lives.” -Jackie Robinson, first African-American baseball player in the modern era.

Thanks for reading.

Today’s message is especially dedicated to the great Bob Emmons, Ph.D at UC Davis.

Dr. Emmons is the leading authority on Gratitude and the Editor-in-Chief of The Journal of Positive Psychology. He is also the author of THANKS!: How The New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier.

In his book, Emmons talks about Gratitude and how it can be applied in one’s life. My favorite part of the book is when he lists 10 ways to practice Gratitude. Here is a sample…

Come to Your Senses-“Through our senses, we gain an appreciation of what it means to be human, of what an incredible miracle it is to be alive.” Use the exercise, “Breath of Thanks” (Dr. Frederic Luskin ‘Forgive For Good’) to become more grateful…

1. Two or three times every day when you are not fully occupied, slow down and bring your attention to your breathing.
2. Notice how your breath flows in and out without your having to do anything…continue breathing this way.
3. For each of the next five to eight exhalations, say the words “thank you” silently to remind yourself of the gift of your breath and how lucky you are to be alive. He suggests practicing this at least three times per week.

When I spoke with Dr. Emmons about Gratitude and whether it could be applied to sports, we came to the conclusion that, yes, gratitude can certainly help athletes produce “calm energy,” make less errors, reduce anxiety, pressure and nervousness. It helps them perform at a higher level.

The breathing exercise above can be used at the beginning of a tennis match when you may be a bit nervous. It can also be used before a big point or closing out a match. Just focus on your breathing and cultivate Gratitude for being able to play this wonderful game and opportunity to learn skills that can help you in all areas of life. The beauty of this is technique is, that when you focus on your breathing and Gratitude, you won’t think about being nervous, what people will think if you lose or any other negative thoughts that may affect your performance.

Other ways Dr. Emmons recommends practicing Gratitude are…

Use Visual Reminders– post quotes around the house (I have quotes below my bathroom mirror so I can read them first thing in the morning and last thing at night), have an accountability partner…when we spend time with “ungrateful” people we tend to take on those characteristics.

Watch Your Language– use words like gifts, givers, blessings, blessed, fortune, fortunate, abundance instead of words like deprivation, deservingness, regrets, lack, need, scarcity, loss.

Go Through the Motions– take the action and your feelings will follow. Smile for one minute and that will tell your body that everything is OK and you will begin to feel better.

Think Outside the Box– be grateful for even the people and things that do you harm. Emmons says that this is an advanced form of gratitude. “Gratitude is incomplete until it is manifested in outward action.”

I feel that Gratitude is one of the, if not THE most important aspects of life. It helps slow down life, helps us perform better, and makes us healthier, happier and live longer.

Pick up Dr. Emmons’ book today, you’ll be GRATEFUL you did.

Thank you, Dr. Emmons and…

Thanks for reading.

Today’s message is especially dedicated to the amazing Mary Jane and Hugo Rossi.

The Patriots are 16-0. The Giants are 10-6.

The Patriots are 2-0 versus the Giants since ’01.

So who’s going to win this Sunday’s Super Bowl?

The winner of the Super Bowl will be…

The team that plays better.

There is no guarantee that the Pats will win. On any given day, in any given sport, or area of life, for that matter, ANYTHING can happen. Do you think Tom Brady is going to be nervous before the game? You’d better believe it…all of the players will be. Being nervous is good, as long as you don’t let it affect your performance. We’ll see which team it affects.

It’s not the best team that wins, it’s the team that plays best that wins.

“The will to persevere in the face of obstacles is often the difference between success and failure.”

Thanks for reading.

Today’s message is especially dedicated to the great Debbie Cucinotta.

As you know, I don’ t believe in perfection…it doesn’t exist. Instead, strive for excellence.

“Excellence is an act won by training and habituation. We do not act rightly because we have virtue or excellence, but rather we have those because we have acted rightly.

We are what we repeatedly do.

Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”

-Aristotle (384-322 B.C.)
Greek philosopher

Thanks for reading.