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Message # 71 MORE HOPE

This message is especially dedicated to the great Grace Ho.

No matter what the difficulties, the trials, the disappointments, those who have risen to the top never lost hope. Hope gives us the promise of something good, despite the odds, something we can attain. Hope sets the mind in a positive vein, gives us something to look forward to and patience to wait. Hope is a heart-warming blend of desire, expectation, patience, and joy. It is an emotional medicine, indispensable to the soul. -Martin Buxbaum

So, whatever you do, in school, at work, in your relationships, in your sport or when you’re doing nothing, there will always be difficulties. The problem isn’t that we HAVE difficulties, the problem is that we DWELL on them. You can’t drown by falling in water, you drown by staying there. Martin Seligman, Ph. D., is the father of Positive Psychology. He talks about Learned Helplessness. Basically, Seligman says that a negative state of mind is really conditioning. When a string of negative things happen, people tend to give up hope, but the fact of the matter is that there is STILL hope. People focus on past events and start to give up and act helpless.

If you have hope and you are in a positive mindset, even if bad things happen to you, you can change your state instantly and focus on acceptance, gratitude, what you can learn from it. If you have hope and the right mindset, you will rise to the top of whatever you do and achieve peak performance.

Can you do it? Is it possible? Do you think there is a true champion inside you? I believe in you; I may not even KNOW you, but I guarantee ALL of you can become great. ANYTHING can be attained with the right mindset.

Remember, people are like teabags…you don’t see their true strength until they’re in hot water.

Thanks for reading.

Message # 70 Leadership Tips From Bo Schembechler and John U. Bacon

This message is especially dedicated to the great Bo Schembechler and John U. Bacon.

Bo Schembechler was the winningest coach in the history of the nation’s winningest college football team. As coach of the University of Michigan Wolverines, he had a record of 234-65-8, the fifth best tally of all college football coaches in history. John U. Bacon has written for TIME, the New York Times, ESPN The Magazine, and Sports Illustrated, among others, earning national honors for his work. He also teaches at the University of Michigan, gives speeches across the country, and hosts a weekly radio program. Bo Schembechler and John U. Bacon just came out with a book called, Bo’s Lasting Lessons: The Legendary Coach Teaches the Timeless Fundamentals of Leadership.

I met with John U. Bacon a few days ago and asked him what tips he could give my readers. As I was speaking with him, I could tell he was a good guy. I could tell he was intelligent and passionate about what he does. Below is an excerpt from the book…

“Let’s start with first things first: passion. Because without that, nothing else I’m going to tell you in this book is going to be worth a damn. It just won’t do you any good.

Because the fact is, you’re never going to be able to lead others effectively unless you put your whole heart into what you’re doing. If it’s just a job to you, it’s going to be just a job to them. And trust me: You’re not going to fool them.

So you need to find something you really love to do, because otherwise you’re going to hate it. And if you hate your work, you’ll never put in the kind of effort the guys at the top are putting into it. You’ll lose!

Once you figure out what you love to do, don’t worry about the money or the prestige or anything else. Those things won’t make you happy if you hate your job.

For me, it was easy to figure out what I loved-football! The game got me at an early age, so when people talk about all the sacrifices I’m supposed to have made pursuing this crazy life-in time, in money, in status-I have to laugh. They weren’t sacrifices to me. I got to coach! And that’s all I ever wanted to do.”

So whether you are a student, businessman/woman, artist, singer, doctor, lawyer, be passionate about what you do. Or find out what you’re passionate about. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t have much gratitude that I am doing what I love, from teaching tennis, giving seminars, writing in my blog daily and helping people from all walks of life achieve greatness. Thanks for reading.

Thanks Bo and John.

Message # 69 Success

“A large portion of success is derived from flexability. It is all very well to have principles, rules of behavior concerning right and wrong. But it is quite as essential to know when to forget as well as when to use them. – Alice Foote MacDougall, entrepreneur

Message # 68 Special Olympics World Games “I know I can”

This message is especially dedicated to all the athletes and volunteers at the Special Olympics World Games in Shanghai, China.

Being a volunteer tennis coach for the Special Olympics, it truly excites me that the Special Olympics World Games is going on right now in Shanghai. My only regret is that I’m not there. The theme this year is, “I know I can.” That epitomizes my thoughts from my own experience. I have been working with the Mercer team for many years, helping them prepare for the Summer Games every June. They inspire me on a daily basis and help me believe in myself. They inspire me with dedication, energy, unconditional love, teamwork, fearlessness and joy. They make ME a better person. Do yourself a favor and do some research on the ’07 World Games; volunteer your time; come out to the Summer Games at TCNJ the first weekend in June. Below is an article I found online.

The 80,000-seat Shanghai Stadium was filled to capacity. China’s Yao Ming, who plays basketball for the Houston Rockets, and the U.S. Governor of California Arnold Schwarzenegger, both wildly popular on the international scene, received a boisterous welcome as they walked with athletes during the Parade and spoke to athletes. Yao Ming missed the start of the basketball season to attend the Ceremony. “It’s worth it. Nothing is more important than doing things for Special Olympics,” he said. Schwarzenegger told athletes, “I used to play in movies as the action hero, but that was nothing compared with the real action taking place in this stadium.”

If these amazing athletes can compete with a disability, imagine what YOU’RE capable of?

“Success is not about what you intend to GET, it’s about what you intend to GIVE.” – Ed Tseng

Good luck Special Olympics Athletes!

Homework: Support the Special Olympics any way you can…

Message # 67 Get in the FLOW…Learn From Yoga

Today’s message is dedicated to the great Melissa Sapio.

Many people, especially athletes are turning to yoga to help them become more focused and help them achieve peak performance. In yoga, the state of “complete absorption” is called “flow.” Whatever you are looking to improve in your life, you can take the steps below from yoga and apply them to what you want to improve.

1. When practicing, give whatever you’re doing your entire focus. (Practice smart and realistically.)

2. Work right at the edge of your skillfulness. Flow comes when your skill level and challenge are evenly matched, or when you have to stretch just a bit.

3. Let go of concern for the external aspects of your practice. (Don’t think about winning or losing or what you’re doing after your game.)

4. Cultivate curiosity about increasingly subtle aspects of your practice. Try to discover something new every time.

5. Allow yourself to savor the moment-to-moment experience.

Stephen Cope, Yoga Journal

Homework: Write down these 5 steps on an index card and use them the next time you practice.

Message # 66 How Will You Succeed?

This message is especially dedicated to the great Sarah Heyman.

How will you succeed? The answer may be found in a few simple words written by Abe Lincoln: “When I do good I feel good. When I do bad I feel bad. And that’s my religion.” All of us have a voice inside that will speak to us if we let it. Sometimes it’s easy to hear, sometimes we have to turn down the volume of the distracting noise around us so we can listen. That voice tells us if we are on the right track. It lets us know if we give as much as we take, if we welcome the opinions of others, and at least accept diversity even if we are not able to embrace it.

-Christopher Reeve, actor

So realize that there is a voice inside your head, and that voice can hold you back or push you to the next level. Much of what we think about negative, so if we can acknowledge that and immediately think about something positive, we are well on our way to success.

To help you succeed in tennis, watch the video below with Dr. Rob Gilbert, one of the top sports psychology experts and motivational speakers in the world. Thanks for reading.

Message # 65 Food For Thought…

I’m not here to give you something to eat…I’m here to make you HUNGRY!

This message is dedicated to The Azzaro Family.

EXCELLENCE IN THE ART OF PIZZA

For those of you that don’t know, a tomato pie is basically a pizza, but instead of sauce, they use actual tomatoes. The crust is crispy and they only use a little cheese. It is MY pizza of choice. Papa’s Tomato Pies started in 1912 and is now the 2nd oldest Tomato Pie Restaurant in the United States. Last night I spoke to Donnie Azzaro, owner and expert pizza maker, while enjoying one of their delicious pies. I had a half plain, half meatball pie. It was perfect. With every bite, there was crispy-ness of the crust. I could then taste the sweet acidity of the tomatoes watering in my mouth. After that, the olive oil and then the cheese. With every bite, I had to make sure I wasn’t dreaming. Mmmm…It hit me at so many different levels.

I asked Donnie what has made Papa’s such a success over the past 95 years. He said there really is no secret. “Good food, good price and word of mouth. It really just takes hard work, but also keeping it simple.” Every morning Donnie makes the dough and the sauce. And guess what? Some days he doesn’t FEEL like making the dough and the sauce, but he does it ANYWAY…sound familiar? This expert pizza maker takes action regardless of his feelings.

Papa’s uses the freshest ingredients, but has had to change a bit over the years because they have outlasted some of the supply companies. Talk about longevity. The ingredients and recipe really make Papa’s stand out and allow them to close in on 100 years. I love everything about Papa’s, from the old furniture to all the photos of customers on the walls to the low overhead lighting and the employees that have been around forever. Oh wait, I forgot…the PIZZA! Their tomato pies are amazing! I love the tradition and history of Papa’s. When I asked Donnie for his email so I could send him this link, he said, “I don’t have email.” Talk about old world. I love it.

Donnie says that he could teach ANYONE to become a great pizza maker. You just need to know the strategy.

“Every day is a new day…don’t sweat the small stuff.” – Donnie Azzaro

Homework: Don’t just eat…get HUNGRY…hungry to become great and hungry to learn more!

Message # 64 Learn From Chris Evert

This message is dedicated to the great Mary Ellen Abouchedid.

Brian Kilmeade: “Wait, you know the secret to conquering pressure?”

Chris Evert: “The ability to deal with pressure and stay calm came from playing a lot of tournaments when I was young. It was not ‘now or never’ for me. I taught myself to be in the moment and, for the most part, that worked for me.”

Brian Kilmeade: “So, how can you use this quality in real life?”

Chris Evert: “When I broadcast a tournament or make a speech, I use the same technique. I prepare from the heart and I study. In tennis, I learned the draw. If it’s a speech, I prepare myself on the topic. I’m not book smart and I don’t know every fact from my seventh-grade history class, but I do know about life experiences, about feelings, and about mastering emotions…On the court, you’re really more in control of your destiny, but the feeling and focus inside are the same.”

Author: Brian Kilmeade
Book: It’s How You Play the Game

Homework: Try to apply your techniques in one successful area of your life to one in which you are lacking.

Message # 63 Exceptions Shatter Dreams

This post is especially dedicated to Amish Sattaluri.

I had a wonderful day, but unfortunately, I was unable to post a message this morning. I could have easily skipped it, and written one tomorrow, but feel that exceptions shatter dreams. I would not be satisfied if I skipped a day. Michelle from LA already has expressed her disappointment in not reading a message today. I enjoy writing my messages and feel that they are important.

Today, I videotaped some messages for http://www.youtube.com/ with Dr. Rob Gilbert, one of the top motivational speakers and authorities on sports psychology in the world. It was very exciting to me on many levels. I then proceeded to pick up my mentee, Amish and go to the Jenkinson Aquarium at Point Pleasant Beach for a Tuesday’s Children outing. For those of you that are not familiar with Tuesday’s Children, they are a non-profit that helps families and children that lost a parent in 9/11. This is one of the highlights of my life, so far. It doesn’t matter if Amish and I are going to the aquarium or just having a catch. He is an inspiration to me. After that, I had a wonderful dinner with a great friend.

I had a great productive day, but feel a bit guilty for not posting a message this morning. So please accept my apologies on the late post, but know that the lesson learned is that losers make promises and winners make commitments. For those of you that were waiting for this message, thank you for being patient.

Homework: Stick to your commitments!