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This message is especially dedicated to my niece, the great Lauren Perrine.

Perfunctory: adjective; Done routinely with little interest or care.

I received an email from Dr. Ellen Langer of Harvard University the other day. I contacted her because she has done extensive work on the topic of Mindfulness in Social Psychology. She is the leading authority on this topic. Dr. Langer says that most people are mindless, meaning, they go through life “routinely.” They just go through the motions. Even sports coaches tell their players to do something until they don’t have to think about it. She doesn’t agree. And after reading her book, I don’t either. You see, the problem with being mindless is that, sure, you might be able to do things over and over again, but you CAN’T adjust if something different happens. In tennis if you can hit a forehand in your sleep, but then all of a sudden, the ball comes at a different speed or farther away or with spin, you won’t be able to make the adjustment. Also, when you are mindless, you don’t enjoy the process; it becomes boring, perfunctory. You also are not open to new ideas.

Remember, up to 80% of what we do in life is habitual. Try to be more mindful in what you do and you might be pleasantly surprised.

Homework: Instead of being mindless and “playing tennis” become a “tennis player” (mindful). Instead of being “in life” be “into life.”

This message is dedicated to the great Ed Tseng.

Right now my stomach is killing me. I just got back from NYC…went to the Tuesday’s Children benefit last night for children that lost a parent in 9/11. I’m glad I went but my stomach hasn’t been feeling right the past couple days. I still went to the event because I am a big believer in the organization. I just took some medicine and will eat a bland diet today. I really didn’t feel like writing a message, but I decided to step it up. I feel that if I can help one person with this blog, it is worth it. Last night’s benefit was great because they raised a lot of money for the families of 9/11. This allows them to participate in events and gives them support. I am truly proud to be a mentor for this organization because everyone that works for Tuesday’s Children is passionate about what they do and I feel that’s how it should be. The people that help support the 9/11 families stepped it up, also. I actually feel pretty good right now. Compared to a lot of people in the world, I have it pretty good.

Many people call philanthropy giving back but I say you should just GIVE. It’s not about what you’ll get in return or what you’ve gotten in the past.

Thanks for reading.

This post is especially dedicated to the great Lisa Sargese.

When I gave my talk last week to the American Boychoir School in Princeton, I was amazed that there was a school for boys ages 9-14 for singing. They have regular classes, including gym, and a music theory class. They practice singing for two hours a day. Talk about being specific. These boys perform all over the world. They will be at Carnegie Hall soon and then Europe.

Many people want and try to do EVERYTHING well. But there’s something to be said about doing ONE THING well. It is then that you will become an expert in your field. If you want to be the best at something, get folder and carry it with you at all times. Every time you find something that pertains to your field, whether in a magazine, or newspaper, cut it out and put it in this folder. Because you have this selective focus, you will become a magnet to all this information and you will start to meet people that can give you information as well. Many people avoid doing this type of work and just want to enjoy life. But guess what? If you’re willing to give up what you want now for what you want MOST, you are going to be better than everyone else.

So it doesn’t matter what you want to be an expert in, you just have to KNOW what you want and then have selective focus to get you on your way.

Homework: Get your folder and start collecting information.

Today, I will tell you one of the secrets of life…

This message is dedicated to the great Lucy Perrine.

Do you want to know one of the secrets of life? Here it is…

“Your focus is your future.” Whatever you focus on, you will get. If you focus on all the bad things in your life, you will get more of that. If you focus on all the good things, you will get more good things. If you are in a relationship and you focus on all the things you DON’T like about your mate, it won’t get better. So, instead, think about all the good aspects of the relationship and you will get positive results.

Have you ever missed a first serve in tennis, and right before your second serve, you thought, “I hope I don’t double fault.” What happens? You double fault! Because you’re focused on that.

Still not convinced? Ok, concentrate REAL hard…Don’t think about a pink elephant.

Didn’t you just visualize a pink elephant in your mind?

“Don’t look where you don’t want to go.”

Homework: Next time you think about something you don’t like, or want to happen, quickly change your thoughts to something positive.